Communes and Tattoos
by Emz89
Summary: What does Sara know about the Jane Doe down in the Coroners office, and how will she deal with it. Just as her life is getting back on track, it starts to crumble again. Set 2 months after Family Affair, slight GSR, but Mostly Cath/Sara friendship and eventual Romance.
1. Chapter 1

A/N – This new idea came into my head, and I couldn't ignore it! Hope you enjoy it.

What does Sara know about the Jane Doe down in the Coroners office, and how will she deal with it. Just as her life is getting back on track, things start to crumble again.

Some GSR, but mostly Cath/Sara Friendship, and romance eventually.

Set 2 months after Family Affair, Season 10, episode 1.

Communes and Tattoos

Chapter 1

Sara had been back in Las Vegas for two months now, back doing what she loved, and what she knew she was good at. At first it had been hard leaving her Husband, Gilbert Grissom, in Paris, but as she hadn't wanted to find a job there, and they had to wait for funding for another research project, they had decided that she would come back to work as CSI for 6 months, part of her earnings to be used to help with the research, whilst Grissom would use his money from his teachings and lectures at one of the Paris Universities for the same purpose. It was hard being away from him again, there relationship and trust in one another once again building up after she had affectively run away just after the case with the West siblings, and again after Warricks funeral. Still, right now she was happy, Grissom had flown out to spend the weekend with her, and they'd enjoyed spending time together, and the physical closeness it bought after having only spoken too each other on the phone or over webcam for the past 8 weeks.

Grissom had left late last night, having caught a taxi back to the airport, and Sara had stayed in bed, already missing his touch, the feeling off their bodies together again after too long. She smiled at the memory, his gentle touch, and caring words. They were happy together, and could sit for hours just talking, or playing chess. Their relationship was intimate, and intellectual, calm. They had had a few arguments over the years, before becoming lovers and then spouses, and a few as a married couple. The hardest part throughout their relationship had begun after Sara had woken up in the helicopter after her ordeal in the desert, and it hadn't really settled again until nearly 8 months later when Grissom had finally come to his senses and tracked her down in Costa Rica.

Now, once again, their relationship was strong, and safe. There was no drama, no conflict, no arguments, just a distance, they were half way around the world from one another, and although it suited them both at the moment, and they knew it wouldn't be forever, Sara had found Grissom leaving harder than she thought she would.

Normally it was herself that walked away, the one who was subconcocusly dominant within the relationship.

Sara bought the pillow to her nose, breathing in deeply, taking in the lingering scent that her husband had left behind, and a lone tear slipped on to her cheek.

Rolling over, Sara sighed, and pushed herself out of bed, even after 2 months, she still hadn't fully adjusted back to 'Las Vegas' time, especially the hours of Grave shift. Looking at the clock she saw she still had 7 hours before shift started, but only 5 before she had to go in to the Crime Lab.

Part of her new contract stated that she had to have a meeting with either Conrad Ecklie or Catherine Willows once a week, to check in, to talk about any concerns, and to try and stem off another Burnout. At first she had wanted to object, but she needed the money, and Ecklie needed the reassurance that she wouldn't leave before her 6 months were up, and the alternative had been seeing a shrink or counsellor.

Sara never particularly liked the meetings, but she knew they were important. Today she would be seeing Catherine, and the thought of that made her smile.

Pulling herself out of bed, Sara pulled some clothes on, looking briefly over her body in front of the mirror, the faded tattoo on her side barely noticeable, and the scar on her arm from where they'd had to reset her broken arm fine and faint. Putting on her running shoes, grabbing her keys and phone, Sara left the house. A 7 miles run would do her the world of good right now.

A while later, showered and satisfied at getting a new personal best on her run, Sara made her way into work.

Pulling into the car park, she glanced around, and noticed that Catherine's car wasn't there yet, but Ecklie's was, and she sighed a little, knowing it probably meant that either the meeting was cancelled, or she would be having to meet with the older man instead.

Walking into the building, Sara decided to head straight to the break room, to grab a mug of tea, before heading off to find either one of her supervisors. First checking Catherine's office, and finding it empty, she trudged over to Ecklie's, and knocked.

'Come in' came a voice, and Sara stepped into the room

'Hi Conrad… Catherine's not here, and… I'm due for my weekly…' Sara smiled weakly, lingering in the doorway.

'Ok, Come in, sit…' Conrad said placing a file down and gesturing to the small sofa in the corner of his office. For some reason they had found that sitting on the sofa, instead of opposite each other with a desk between them had made the meetings easier to deal with, and easier for Sara to tell him anything that was currently bothering her.

Walking over to the sofa, Sara sat down and waited for Ecklie to join her. The meetings weren't as bad as she thought they would be, but they weren't exactly her favourite part of the week either.

'So, Sara… How are you feeling this week?' The man asked as he sat down next to her.

Sara closed her eyes for a moment, before taking a sip of tea, she leant her head back, sighed, and answered quietly.

'Tired'

Xxxx

The meeting with Conrad had gone well, they had talked for just over an hour, Sara explaining how she still hadn't got used to the hours, which is how every conversation started. Then she had talked about her cases that week, all had been solved, and most of the paperwork filed. She had briefly mentioned Gil, but had quickly moved on to another subject, and had started talking about her feelings on an upcoming court case in which she would be called to talk through evidence. All in all, it had been a good meeting, and she had left barely anything out. Now, she was headed once more to the break room to await assignments.

Catherine arrived with 10 minutes to spare before she had to hand out the caseload for the night, but before that she desperately wanted to see the brunette.

'Sara…' Catherine said, leaning against the door frame 'I'm so sorry…'

'It's ok…' Sara replied, a weak smile on her face 'Really… Conrad took my meeting… all's well.'

Catherine frowned a little, opened her mouth, and tried to speak, but nothing came out.

'Really, Cat, it's fine, don't worry.' Sara forced a bigger smile onto her lips. She was telling the truth, she was fine, but she was a little sad that she hadn't got to spend any time with Catherine before work. The meetings with Conrad were routine, they drank tea, they talked, he nodded, she knew her job was safe, he knew she wasn't going to run. The meetings with Catherine were much more relaxed, and a lot more helpful. It helped that they usually played some sort of card game whilst talking, which helped Sara to relax and open up more. Their current favourite was Uno, although neither of them really knew why.

Catherine nodded and smiled a little herself 'Ok… well, we'll just wait for the Boys and then I'll hand out the cases… want another coffee, tea?' Catherine asked stepping into the room.

'Sure… Coffee, please.' Sara replied, glad that everything seemed to be alright. She didn't want to hear Catherine's excuse to why she hadn't been there for the meeting.

Catherine busied herself making the drinks 'How's Gil?' She asked over her shoulder

'Good… really good… we actually spent the weekend together…' Sara replied, blushing slightly, as she knew Catherine would know what she meant by that. 'He went back to Paris this morning'

'Well… I'm glad you had a good time, shame he couldn't spare a minute to see us though… guess you were to wrapped up…' she winked at Sara as she handed her the mug. Sara's blush rose a little more, and she took the mug 'Thanks' she mumbled keeping her gaze to the floor.

Shortly after, Nick, Greg and Ray walked in, chatting amongst themselves.

'Hey Boys… '

'Hi' They all replied.

'Not much going on tonight…' Catherine said as she got up, picking up a small pile of paper 'Greg, your with me, 419 the other side of Henderson , Nick, Ray, I need you to go over our current open cases, newest one first, unless anything else comes up, Sara, I'm sorry, but it's your evening stuck in.'

Sara nodded 'That's ok' – That had also been a stipulation that, surprisingly, Sara herself had put in her contract, one night in the lab every 10 days, to avoid the possibility of maxing out on the overtime. So far there hadn't been any consistent pattern to the nights, but she was always grateful when they came around

'Want me to restock the labs…run a few experiments and control tests?' She asked just before Catherine left the room.

'Please… unless there's paperwork?' Catherine answered over her shoulder as she led Greg down the hallway.

Sara soon busied herself, first restocking the kits that were general issue in the department, then asking if any of the lab techs needed any help with anything, or any extra equipment. Wendy from DNA smiled brightly, she loved the nights when Sara stalked around the lab, helping them out wherever possible.

'Please, actually' Wendy said with a bright smile 'I'm swamped in here, backlog from Days, and half of my stock is empty, Grace never seems to replace anything… ' Wendy paused in her work, and wrote down a quick list in short hand, and handed it over to Sara

'Can you read that?' She asked, once again resuming her work

'Yep…No problems…' Sara smiled, really it wasn't her place to do such jobs, but she wanted to feel helpful, and the nights away from the harsh world outside were rather beneficial too her, not that she would admit it too to many people.

'Thanks, I owe you' Wendy smiled glancing up from her work

'Beer and Uno then?' Sara asked

'Sure thing'

Sara walked away, heading towards the stores which were situated down in the basement next to the coroner's office and autopsy. She decided to go in and call in on Doc Robbins socially before gathering what Wendy had requested.

'Hey Doc' Sara said with a bright smile stepping into the room, Robbins was sat at his desk, typing away on the computer 'Not interrupting anything?' She asked pausing where she was.

'No, no, not at all, come on in Sara…' Robbins turned in his chair slightly, grabbed his cane and stood up. 'What can I do for you?' he asked, his voice gentle.

'Just wanted to say hi' Sara replied, after her ordeal in the desert, the Dr had been one of the few people to put things into perspective, at least Medically. He helped her to understand the pain, and the fear, more than the Drs at the Hospital had, and for that she was always grateful. It had been Dr Robbins, and Greg, she had told about her choice to leave, she hadn't even told Grissom in person.

'Well hello to you to Sara' he said with a genuine smile.

'Anything interesting this week?' Sara asked.

'A few cases, yes, but you haven't come about a case, so why not let's talk about something else?' he said softly, motioning to the now vacant chair for Sara to take.

'You know I'm no good at talking' Sara replied, although her smile only grew bigger

'I know… how's the arm?' He asked reaching up to touch it

'Fine… fine…' Sara replied not flinching away from his touch 'Scars healing nicely, and most of the sensation is back… I just never thought it still be having trouble with it nearly two years later… it's not like it was the first time it was broken…' Sara closed her eyes whilst Robbins continued to examine her arm.

'Where?' He asked

Sara bought her free hand up and ran her fingers along the outside of her hand, along her little finger

'Pins and needles, still?'

Sara nodded but didn't answer

'Is it keeping you up at night?' he asked gently, his fingers gently carrying on the examination.

Sara just shrugged, she didn't really want to answer the question right now. 'Tell me about her' she replied instead, gesturing towards a body lay on one of the autopsy tables. Robbins frowned a little, not happy with the change in conversation, but answered anyway. Dropping Sara's arm, he once again picked up his stick, and walked over to the table, gesturing for Sara to follow him.

'Jane doe, came in 2 nights ago, haven't had time to do the autopsy yet, Dayshift case, she was found at some motel, her 5 year old Daughter called it in. but she won't speak to anyone… she's not harmed… physically… no I.D found, so… until the girl talks, or I get lucky…'

'Anything that would help identify her?' Sara asked, a knot in her stomach just at the thought of the little girl, even though she knew none of the case details, she knew it couldn't be good.

'I'd say she's about…20…maybe a little older… ' Doc began 'I did the prelim at the scene, but couldn't tell much… I did however noticed she has a birthmark on her lower leg… ' Robbins showed her the mark, a cluster of freckles so close together, they were almost one, about the size of a Nickel. 'She also has a gap between her top two front teeth…' he opened the woman's mouth slightly 'And this…'

He lifted up the woman's arm, and pointed at something on the side of her torso just beneath her armpit.

'It's a tattoo… looks to be the Roman Numeral for 7, but I don't understand why it would be there…it looks old, poorly done, faded…' Doc looked up, and saw that Sara had gone extremely pale, her face covered in a slight sheen, and her eyes had glazed over, before he could react, Sara had collapsed, hitting her head on the metal table on her way down.

'Sara!' He yelled, awkwardly kneeling down beside her, his hand reaching to her neck to check for a pulse, and having found one, to her cheek, where he rubbed it gently 'Sara… wake up Sara…' he said gently, before looking over his shoulder and yelling 'DAVID! DAVID GET IN HERE, I NEED THE FIRST AID KIT!' before turning his attention back to Sara.

He could see her eyes fluttering beneath their lids, and her breathing was slow and shallow, which had him worried 'Open your eyes…' Just as he was about to shout for David again he heard the double doors swing open 'First aid kit, and cold compress, NOW!' he ordered still crouching down next to Sara, although he hadn't turned to see who had entered the room. Nothing happened for a moment, but he heard a gasp as the person took in the scene in front of them 'NOW!' he repeated with more force this time, and was then satisified when he heard the movement behind him. Moments later someone was pressing the compress to Sara's head, where a large bruise was starting to form, but luckily the skin hadn't broken. It was only then that Doc Robbins looked up.

'Thanks Catherine…' he said before turning his attention back to Sara, who was now slowly blinking and struggling to open her eyes.

'What happened?' Catherine asked, the panic evident in her voice.

'I don't know really… she just collapsed…' he said most of his attention still on the brunette lying on the floor between them.

Catherine just nodded, her hands still pressing the compress to Sara's head. 'Come on Sara… wake up…'

Sara blinked a little more, her eyes slowly starting to focus, a mix of emotions flashing across her face, when she registered that Catherine was next to her she bolted upright, pushing the older woman, and Doc Robbins away, shuffling her body away from them, away from the table, and into the corner of the room, as far away as she could get without standing up to run from the room. She knew her legs wouldn't carry her that far, and she was still in rather a thick daze from the ordeal.

To say that Catherine and Doc Robbins were confused by this reaction would be an understatement and a half, they both looked at each other, glad that Sara had come around, but concerned to her reaction and her haste to get away from them.

Robbins awkwardly got to his feet, and deciding they didn't need anyone walking in on the scene, walked over to lock the autopsy room doors. Something he had never once done before in nearly 35 years of work as a coroner.

Catherine cautiously crouched down in front of Sara, careful not to get to close. What had happened to make Sara react in such a way, to even collapse in the first place. She had been doing so well, her life on track, happily married, working, the incident in the desert no longer playing on her mind, or so Catherine had thought. Or was that all just a front? Or had something happened with Grissom at the weekend? Catherine didn't know what to think, or how to feel at this point, but she felt scared.

'Sara…' she said quietly 'Sara… talk to me…'

By now Sara had pulled her legs up to her chest, and had wrapped her arms tightly around them, her head buried. She wasn't crying, or shaking, or making any noise. She was just sat there, head in her arms, perfectly still, her breathing deep.

Catherine inched closer 'At least let me look at your head…'

Sara didn't respond, Catherine glanced up at Robbins, who was stood close by observing the scene, and then tentatviely reached a hand to Sara, who flinched slightly, but didn't back away any further.

'I just need to look at your head…' Catherine repeated, although she wasn't at all sure if Sara had even heard her, it seemed as if Sara was in some kind of weird daze right now.

Eventually Sara unwrapped her arms, lifted her head, and in one swift and sudden movement had peeled of the shirt that she was wearing.

This action left Catherine and Doc Robbins more confused than ever. 'Did she hit her torso…?' Catherine asked frowning, quickly looking for bruises, but with Sara's legs still folded in front of her, it was hard to see.

'No… No, Not that I saw… just her head…'

'What made her collapse?' Catherine asked still puzzled, her eyes still on Sara's, the brunettes eyes clamped tightly shut against the world.

'I don't know really… I was showing her Jane Doe…showed her a birthmark, her teeth… a tattoo… then she just collapsed… do you think she knew her?' Robbins asked quietly, not wanting to startle Sara right now.

'I… I don't know…' Catherine replied, her hand reaching out once more, to rest on Sara's knee.

'Sara…you have to look at me…' she said quietly, her hand rubbing small calming circles on her knee 'Please… '

Sara opened her eyes a few moments later, glanced briefly at Catherine, and then turned her head and gaze to the autopsy table that held Jane Doe. Letting her knees fall to her side, Sara pushed the waist band of her trousers down slightly, whilst lifting her left arm up, her eyes not once blinking.

Catherine let her gaze drop down to Sara's body briefly, then she looked back up into Sara's face

'What is it? What are you trying to tell me…' She whispered, and then she heard Robbins gasp.

'Catherine…' he whispered

'What?' she snapped turning to glare at him, but then she saw the shock on his face, and felt bad for snapping at him.

Robbins shrugged it off 'I think you need to look at Sara's waist…'

'Why?' she asked frowning, her head already turned back to Sara.

'Because Sara has the same tattoo as our Jane Doe here…'

'Shit.' Catherine mumbled under her breath 'Ok… Sara… Sara sweetie, I just need to look at your stomach ok… ' Catherine cautiously reached her hand out, and pushed the fabric of Sara's trousers down a little further, and had to do her best not to gasp.

'Ok Sara, ok…' she turned her head slightly to Doc Robbins and nodded, and then she pulled Sara towards her, wrapping the younger woman tightly in her embrace.

Sara was still to say anything, to really respond to what was going on around her, she couldn't trust herself to speak, to move, to explain anything, so she had done the only thing she knew how too at the time, to let the people in front of her put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Moments later Doc had slipped a clean lab coat over her exposed body, and it was in this moment that the tears started to fall, and she found her voice, in between sobs, she managed to get out a few words.

'Her name is Sophie… My Daughters name is Sophie.'


	2. Chapter 2

Communes and Tattoos

Chapter 2

Sara awoke with a start, her head hurt and she was a little confused, she didn't remember going home, but she soon relaxed again when she felt the arm around her waist hold her a little tighter. Her eyes still closed, she smiled, and ran her hand along the arm holding her closely.

'Mmmm, Gil, you came back….' She whispered, whilst gently picking up the arm and kissing it once, her head still pounding.

The body behind her tensed, and cleared their throat 'Sara…' came the quiet voice.

Sara froze for a moment, and then turned in the arms still holding her

'Catherine…? What… Wh…' Sara pushed herself away from Catherine, panic in her voice, trying to piece together what had happened. Had she really got that drunk again.

Catherine pushed herself up so she was sat leaning against the headboard 'You don't remember?' she asked, her brow furrowed, concern all over her face.

'Did we… ?' Sara asked gesturing between the two of them, not noticing the fact that both of them were still fairly well dressed. Catherine shook her head 'No' she mumbled.

'Then what are you doing here? How did we even get here?' Sara asked now pacing the room, her mind desperately trying to remember anything that would give her a clue to her current situation.

'Sara… Sara sit down, please… we need to talk…' Catherine said trying to keep her voice level, but not succeeding very well.

'Damn right we need to talk!' Sara shouted

'Sara please… what's the last thing you remember…?' Catherine whispered, unsure she really wanted to hear the answer. Sara just looked at her blankly for a moment, trying to remember. She could remember walking up that morning, going for a run, speaking to Ecklie, and then speaking to Wendy, but beyond that there was nothing, just a vague thought of heading down to the stores.

'I… I remember speaking to Wendy… I think she wanted me to grab something from stores…' Sara had stopped pacing by now, and had wrapped her arms tightly around herself. 'What happened?' she whispered, a tear falling down her cheek. She hated having blanks in her memory, and was now not only confused and embarrassed about waking up in Catherine's arms, but angry too.

'Sara… please sit down…'

'No!' Sara spat out.

Catherine sighed, and closed her eyes, her fears confirmed, Sara had blocked out the incident in the morgue, and now it was Catherine's job to remind her of what she was trying to forget.

'You passed out in the morgue…when you came round, you freaked out, and broke down… you became hysterical, and we didn't know what to do… Doc Robbins had no choice but to sedate you… we bought you here… I haven't left you this whole time… that was…' Catherine paused briefly to look at her watch 'Umm… nearly 10 hours ago.'

Sara grew paler with each of Catherine's words, and backed slowly away from her, until she could go no further, her back hitting the wall, flashes off the scene playing in her mind, her knees going weak, she slid to the floor, tears flowing freely down her face.

'Sophie…' she whispered before breaking down completely once again.

Moments later Catherine was by her side, and had pulled her into a tight embrace 'Shhh… it's ok Sara… it's ok… let it out…' Catherine whispered, her voice soothing the younger woman in her arms, her hands rubbing softly on her back. After about 10 minutes, Sara stopped crying, but was yet to speak, and although Catherine could tell she was far from being fine, she was a lot better than she had been in the autopsy room, and this comforted Catherine, if only a little.

Eventually Sara pulled herself out of Catherine's embrace, and silently walked out of the bedroom to the kitchenette, turning the kettle on, hoping that Catherine would follow her.

Reaching for two mugs she busied herself making some camomile tea, and when finished, she silently placed a mug in Catherine's hand before sitting on one of the comfy chairs in the living room, gesturing for Catherine to sit too. Taking a deep breath, Sara began to speak, her eyes staring blankly into the mug cradled in her hands.

'I was just 16… living in a commune of sorts…at first, it was better than foster care. Then, one day, it wasn't. It had.. morphed, I guess, into some sort of… sort of… Cult, I guess. We were branded. I became pregnant… when… when… my little girl…when… she was only 2 weeks old… they branded her too. When she was 6 weeks old, some people came in… they were cops I guess… they busted up our little party… I was… we were, taken to hospital… for evaluation. I was sent to a psychiatric hospital… I was there for 6 months. I was told Sophie would be waiting for me when I got out. All that time I wasn't allowed to see her, but because of her, I kept fighting… kept trying to get better…When I was 18, they no longer cared… I wasn't better, but they throw me out anyways… the state didn't want to fund my care, not now that I was an adult. It was then that I found out… that during my time in the ward, Sop… she… my daughter, had been adopted, and I hadn't had a say in the matter. No one would tell me where she was… how she was… no one had asked me… no one cared.' Sara had barely paused in her story, her hands trembling, her body stiff as she recounted the tale for the first time in 20 years. Suddenly Sara lurched forward, heaving heavily, feeling nauseous and weak. Catherine moved for the first time since Sara had started speaking, once again pulling Sara into her embrace as if it was second nature now.

'It's ok Sara… it's ok…' Catherine whispered.

'No it's not…' Sara mumbled against Catherine's shoulder 'No it's not… if I'd gotten better before… then none of this would have happened… I'd still have her. I didn't even try looking for her… do you know what I did? NOTHING!' Sara suddenly shouted, pushing herself away from Catherine once more. 'Nothing!' She repeated. 'I did nothing but feel sorry for myself, and then I went looking for drugs!'

Sara ran from the room, ran out the house, ran down the road, not knowing where she ran too, as long as she ran away from Catherine.

Sara kept running, the anger was slowly melting away, the powerful sensation of euphoria that running gave her coursing through her body, mixed with the feelings of embarrassment and guilt at her latest outburst, and the knowledge that one of her darkest secrets had been revealed, and that now that the lid on her past had been cracked open, she would have to talk about it more, if only to help shed some light on the murder of her daughter. Legs burning, Sara doubled over, out of breath, not to sure where she was. She looked around, and noticed she was in a park a good 4 or so miles from her home. She had both run further than she thought, and had lost track of time.

She slowly walked over to a bench, and sat on it, taking in the people that were around her, all oblivious to her inner struggles. There were the joggers, the dog walkers, the young mums pushing their strollers and buggies. The business man, briefcase and newspaper in hand, on their way to meetings, not one person paying much attention to anyone else around her. Then she spotted something, and once again a wave of nauseous washed over her, and this time she was sick. Sat on a bench across the park, was an older lady, a young boy by her side, a small picnic on the bench, toys on the floor. They were both smiling, both happy. A family. Grandmother and Grandson.

Doc Robbins words came washing over her with force 'Her 5 year old daughter had called it in'

20 years ago, Sara had lost her Daughter. A few hours ago, she had lost her again… and now. Now she was a Grandma, at the age of 37. Heaving again, fresh tears flowed from Sara's eyes. Forcing herself to stand up, Sara began to slowly, almost automatically, walk back along the path she had run, heading towards her home. Towards Catherine. Towards the questions that she knew would be waiting.

Sara had no idea how long she had been walking for, and was therefore a little shocked when she found herself standing outside her front door. She reached into her pockets for her keys, and it was only then that she realised she didn't have them. She hadn't even stopped to pick up her purse or phone. Knocking, she could only hope that Catherine was still there, waiting for her.

After what seems forever, but has only been a minute, Catherine opened the door, her face pale, her eyes red, giving away the fact that she had been crying. Neither woman knew what to say, how to act. Sara looked down at the floor, and Catherine stepped away from the door, allowing Sara room to walk back into her own house. Sitting down on the sofa, Sara pulled a blanket around her shoulders, and sat there silently. Catherine sat next to her, and reached over to hold Sara's hand in her own.

'Why don't we talk about this over Uno? Or would you rather I call Grissom?' Catherine said at last.

Sara shook her head, not yet trusting her voice.

'Sara…' Catherine started

'Please… I don't want him to know…' Sara whispered 'I don't really want anyone to know…'

'I know, I'm sorry, but it's a bit late for that…' Catherine whispered back, her hand squeezing a little tighter.

Sara sighed, and then pulled her hand out of Catherine's grasp. 'I'll get the deck' she mumbled standing up, a few minutes later she returned, and started shuffling the cards, and then dealt them.

Sara thought about how to tell Catherine about her past, now that the jar had been opened, she knew she could ignore it no longer, but that didn't make it any easier to talk about. They sat in relative silence for a while, just playing the card game, the only time either of them said anything was when they had to call a colour for the card in play.

'I had post-partum depression, I was on drugs, and, eventually was told I had some kind of form of Stockholm. That's why they took her away, why the locked me up. I was a juvie, so it all went in a sealed file. When I left… I ran away… spent a few months on the streets… eventually someone noticed, got me the help I needed, and then I got into University. I never told them about my past, my parents, the commune, my baby. I was clean, getting an education, was top of my class. I worked hard, really hard. Eventually I meet Grissom, and well, you know most of the rest of the story.'' Sara paused, placed a black card on the pile and said 'Red' indicating that was the colour she wanted the deck to become.

'I tried to find her once… she would have been about 7… but I didn't know how to start looking… I couldn't even remember her birthday. I eventually thought I'd made her up, that perhaps the scar wasn't what I thought it was. I'd already mourned for her, so what was the point of digging up her ghost.'

Sara paused again, picking up the burnt through deck, to reshuffle the cards so they could continue their game. Catherine was yet to say anything beyond the game of Uno, and she knew better than to say anything in the small breaks that Sara left in the conversation.

'I'm sorry I ran out of here. I'm sorry I broke down in autopsy, I'm sorry you had to find out my demons. I'm sorry that I failed as a mother. I'm sorry that you have to see me like this. I'm sorry that I left Vegas, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…' Sara dropped the cards that she was holding, her emotions now getting the better of her.

'Oh sweetie…' Catherine whispered, once again rushing to Sara's side, pulling her into what seemed the umpteenth embrace in the past 2 days.

Sara held into Catherine tightly, not wanting to let go, she somehow felt safe right now. She felt safer in Catherine's arms, letting her in, then she felt she would have if it had been Grissom with her right now. Her husband who was once again on the other side of the world, who knew nearly nothing of her demons or her past despite the history the shared. The husband who should have known everything about her, but who knew next to nothing compared to what Catherine had learnt. For some reason Sara had never truly felt safe letting him in, and although Sara wasn't happy that Catherine now knew what she did, she did feel happy that if anyone knew, it was Catherine.

Pulling away slightly, Sara looked at Catherine, into her eyes, emotions of every kind swirling behind them. Sara's breath hitched, and in that split second, she made a decision, and she leant forward and placed her lips to Catherine's, instantly wanting to seek out comfort, wanting to unleash her desire and frustration, wanting to pour all of her emotions out in the embrace. She pressed her lips a little harder against Catherine's, demanding entrance, bringing her hand up to tangle in the blonde hair. Catherine didn't hesitate to grant Sara what she wanted, and pushed the younger woman down on to the sofa, kissing her passionately, the cards now forgotten.


	3. Chapter 3

As their kissing grew more intense and passionate, so did their embrace. Sara's hands were tangling through Catherine's hair, and Catherine's hands had crept underneath Sara's shirt, her thumbs caressing the skin at her sides. Breathing heavy, they pulled each other closer still, Catherine straddling the woman beneath her. Sara smiled into the kiss, her hands moving down to Catherine's neck, her fingers teasing at the skin, tracing down further, as she bought her leg up and in between Catherine, her knee pushing tentatively against her core. Catherine shuddered out a breath, and reluctantly pulled away, trying to speak.

Sara's head rose, seeking out Catherine's lips, not wanting to end the embrace they had caught themselves in, but once again Catherine pulled back.

'Sara… we can't… I can't….' Catherine managed to stutter out, her hands still caressing the brunette beneath her, trying to keep out of reach of Sara's lips, her energy.

'Why not?' Sara whispered, her lips now trailing along Catherine's jawline.

Reluctantly Catherine pulled further away, pushing herself from Sara's body, as she tried to disentangle herself further 'Sara… we have to stop…'

Instantly Sara froze, and a split second later, she angrily pushed Catherine away from her 'Why?' she demanded.

Catherine just looked at her, and blinked as she took in a deep breath 'I…' she started, but found it difficult to continue.

'Why?' Sara said again, this time her voice weak 'Because you'd feel guilty afterwards? Because I'm married? Because I'm a woman… What's wrong with a pity fuck? It's never stopped you before…' Sara's voice grew louder, the emotions of the past few hours catching up with her. Her life was a mess, and all she needed right now was comfort, a distraction. A release, she thought Catherine, of all people, could have understood that.

'No… I… It's….' Catherine stammered, trying not to let Sara's words hurt her too much

'Then what Catherine?'

'This isn't about Grissom, or You, or Vartann…'

'Vartann? What the fuck has he got to do with this?' Sara spat out, her breathing heavy.

Catherine cautiously reached out to Sara, placing her hand on Sara's cheek, and as Sara tried to pull away, Catherine's other hand came up, turning Sara, so she was looking into her eyes.

'We've been seeing each other…. It's only been a few weeks…' she whispered, and then took a breath 'But this isn't about the men in our lives… I want this… I want you… I don't know why… I don't know what it would have meant, what would have happened afterwards… until you kissed me, I'd never even thought about us, and I don't think you had either sweetie….' Catherine's thumbs gently caressed Sara's cheeks. 'I know your hurting Sara… I know that sometimes it seems like sex is the best answer… I know that emotions can be tricky… I know we would have crossed a lot of lines… but in that split second I had to decide when you kissed me… I knew, whatever happened afterwards, I wanted this….'

Sara blinked, her emotions even more of a mess than they had been, her hand instinctually coming up to rest on Catherine's cheek, mirroring the blondes hold on her.

'Then why did you stop?' she whispered.

Catherine sighed, breaking eye contact, her cheeks flushed 'I'm old Sara… I'm 45, you know that… '

'So?'

'So… although I may be reaching the top of the hill… I'm not there yet… ' Catherine sighed again, her cheeks reddening further 'I'm on my period Sara… that's why we had to stop.'

'Oh….' Sara said quietly.

'I'm sorry…' Catherine whispered

'Don't be….' Sara whispered, pulling Catherine into her, kissing her gently. 'Don't be…' she whispered again, kissing the woman in her arms again, this time seeking entrance with her tongue once more.

Sometime later, Sara stirred, she felt safe and warm in Catherine's arms, and they had dozed off in a tangle of arms and kisses on the sofa. Although they hadn't had sex, they had kissed a lot after Catherine's confession, neither one of them regretting their actions, even though neither understood where it now left them.

Sara smiled, and twisted herself around so her back was to Catherine, gently pressing their bodies further together, and she quickly drifted off to sleep again.

When Sara next awoke, her head was pounding and she felt a little dizzy, but she was also happy, as she was still wrapped in Catherine's embrace. Twisting slightly, she turned to see if Catherine was awake. Nudging her slightly, Sara whispered 'Catherine… '

'Mmmm?'

'We should probably get up now…'

'5 more minutes….' Catherine mumbled back, pulling Sara in closer, her breath deep and even.

'Cath….' Sara whispered again, a smile playing across her face 'I need to use the bathroom…'

Catherine just grumbled in response, but she did loosen her grip enough so the brunette could untangle herself from the embrace.

After a few minutes Sara came back into the room to find Catherine sat on the sofa, rummaging through her purse, muttering and cursing quietly under her breath

'Everything ok?' Sara asked her brow furrowed

'No… not really… I'm out of tampons…' Catherine replied, a blush forming across her face at having to admit she didn't have the products.

'Oh.. Well, I've got tampons and pads in the cupboard in the bathroom, and if you wanna have a shower or anything… you need any clean underwear or anything?' Sara replied not fazed at all by the conversation, her mind already on making a pot of coffee.

'Sure… thanks… yes…' Catherine answered standing up and walking towards the bathroom a little confused about Sara's behaviour, and the younger women's east and attitude. Perhaps it was the calm before the storm Catherine thought.

Catherine quickly used the toilet, and then stripped, stepping into the shower, the heat of the water relaxing her and easing the slight tension in her neck from having slept in such an awkward position on the sofa. It was only once she had washed the shampoo out of her hair that she realised she hadn't checked for clean towels, or asked Sara for clean clothes to wear. Just as she was plucking up the courage to call Sara for what she needed, she noticed a neat pile resting on the corner of the sink. Sara had clearly snuck into the room and already left what she needed. Catherine smiled, and then enjoyed the rest of her shower, thoughts about the brunette, and where they now were playing on her mind.

Once dried and dressed, Catherine walked into the kitchen to find Sara sitting quietly, a cup of coffee nursed in her hands, her face tired and sad, despite the sleep, and Catherine thought she knew what was wrong.

'Hey Sara….'

'Hey…'

'I'm sorry about last night….

Sara shrugged just shrugged

'We should talk about this…' Catherine said quietly, taking a seat next to Sara.

Sara sat quietly, not answering or acknowledging the woman before her. Her mind was a mess of emotions. At first when she had woken up she had been a little confused to find herself once again wrapped in Catherine's embrace, but then she remembered how, this time, it had come to pass, and she had felt conflicted. The only arms she should have been in were Grissoms. The only place she should have been was either the morgue, with her daughter, or the police station, giving what little evidence she could to help them find who had done this. She could have been at the hospital, or with child services, checking to see how her grand daughter was, but she hadn't done any of that. Instead, she had run away from it all, and then she had made her way back, not to do what she should have done, but to start an affair of sorts with her older co-worker. Her mind was a mess right now, and she just didn't know how to move forward.

'Who's working Sop… the case?' Sara asked suddenly wanting to talk about anything other than the intimacy from last night, even if that something was the death of her daughter.

Catherine sighed and smiled weakly, but reached her hand out and placed it on Sara's leg, lightly rubbing her thumb over it. 'Jason and Tony from Dayshift… they haven't been able to find much yet… I'm sorry….'

Sara just nodded 'And the girl?'

'She's with a group home at the moment. She still hasn't really said much… physically, there isn't a scratch on her though.'

Sara nodded again, and then in a very quiet whisper she managed to say 'Can I see her?'

Catherine sighed, she didn't want to lie to Sara right now, but she couldn't bear to see the woman so upset either 'I don't know sweetie… I don't know… ' she moved to stand in front of the woman, wrapping her arms around her in a protective embrace.

'Sara… sweetie… if there's anything you can tell us… anything… we still don't know where she came from, why she was in the motel… I know you haven't seen her since… since…' Catherine tried to keep her voice even, but was finding it very difficult, but she knew she had to try for Sara's sake. 'Look…' she said, starting again 'If there's anything you can tell us about the cult….the commune…perhaps we can figure out who adopted her, and work from there…. ' Catherine planted a calming kiss on top of Sara's head, her hand rubbing gently on her back, hoping to soothe the woman in her arms.

Sara nodded her head against Catherine's chest and mumbled out a quiet 'ok' that Catherine was sure she would have missed if she hadn't have felt the movement against her skin.

After a few more minutes, Sara pulled herself out of Catherine's embrace, her composure back, and her train of thought now very much in CSI mode.

'I need to call a judge… Get access to my sealed juvie and medical files… and to pull the files on the commune I guess, perhaps the hospital… anything I can to figure it out… I won't need a warrant for my stuff… but the other stuff? I don't know Cat, I don't know who to call to get what we need… I can only tell you so much… we need those files…' Sara spat out quickly

Catherine could only smile at the woman before her. It seemed that sometimes once Sara had put her mind to something, not much could stop her.

'Ok… Sara, just breathe… one thing at a time, ok?' Catherine said placing her hand on Sara's shoulder.

'I'll call Judge Anderson, and see what he can give us. What's the name of the commune?'

Sara blinked, her brow furrowed once more, like it had been many times in the past few days.

'Oh… I… I actually can't remember… it was in San Francisco… near the sea… '

'It's ok…' Catherine, without thinking, moved and placed a kiss on top of Sara's head 'We'll figure it out…' she mumbled into Sara's hair. Sara allowed the kiss for a moment, and then tried to gently shove Catherine away 'Cat… I … I can't do this… do us… at the moment… I'm sorry… I … I messed up…'Sara pushed herself to her feet, trying to put distance between them, but Catherine caught her hand in Sara's, stopping the woman from getting very far.

'Sara… I'm not trying to do anything. I'm here as your friend, I'm not trying to seduce you, but neither do I regret kissing you last night. I know everything's up in the air right now, and what happened last night doesn't have to happen again, but you can't run away from it… I know that's normally how you deal with things, but at some point, you just have to stop running ok? Ok?' Catherine said, her eyes seeking out Sara's as she spoke.

Sara just nodded, unsure what to say.

'Want me to make that call?' Catherine said quietly, and Sara just nodded again.

'And Grissom?' Catherine asked, her hand squeezing Sara's in comfort, but Sara just shook her head no, and hung her head down, almost in shame.

Catherine pulled Sara into her again, wrapping her arms tightly around her body, and then reached for her cell phone, dialling the Judges number with the woman still in her arms.

'Judge Anderson' came the reply after a few rings

'Hello Judge Anderson, it's Catherine Willows…'

'Hello Catherine, pleasure to hear from you… How can I help?' the judge replied, his voice thick with a Brooklyn accent, and a hint of a smile behind it.

'Well, it's a little complicated… '

'Go on'

'Dayshift found a Jane Doe 3 days ok… We now have a possible I.D…Were waiting for DNA confirmation… thing is… other than that, we know nothing. No home address, social number, anything. There is one way we can find out though. It involves pulling sealed juvie and medical files and… ' Catherine started explaining, keeping her voice as business like as possible.

'Wait…' the judge interrupted her 'How can those files help in your case, if you're not 100% sure who this woman is?'

'Well, see, that's why it's complicated' Catherine replied, a small smile forming on her lips despite herself, her hand absentmindedly rubbing small soothing circles on Sara's back.

'Ok, continue.'

'Thanks… We have reason to believe the Jane Doe is actually the Daughter of Sara Sidle… she was forcibly adopted at 6 weeks old, when Sara was just 17… we need Sara's files to try and figure it out… we also need some files about where Sara was staying at the time… some commune/cult out in San Francisco… only trouble is, Sara can't remember the name, or anything too detailed. We hoped that by getting Sara's files, we could find out more about the commune, and the baby, and then, ultimately, our Jane Does murder…' Catherine tried her best not to talk to quickly, but she equally wanted this conversation to be over, as she could feel hot marks against her chest, indicating that Sara was once again crying and emotional.

'Wow… that's… that's a lot to ask for…' The judge replied after a moment or twos silence in the conversation.

'I know…'

'Is Miss Sidle with you now?' The Judge asked, his voice light and caring.

'Yeah… hold on…' Catherine pulled the phone away from her ear 'Sara…. Judge Anderson needs to speak to you…'

Sara took a deep breath, she wanted to pretend she hadn't heard Catherine speak, to avoid the conversation, but she couldn't. Thoughts of that little girl had been playing on her mind, and she knew that in order to meet her, to help her, she first had to help Sophie, and to do that, she had to open up her past. Her past to be examined and scrutinised, skeletons uncovered, all in the hope of learning what had happened a few days ago, by first going back 20 years.

Sara tentatively took the phone from Catherine, and stepped away from the blondes embrace, turning her body away, with the pretence of needing a little space, a little privacy.

'Hello…'


	4. Chapter 4

A/N- Thank you for the reviews so far! Means a lot.

Enjoy!

\- xxx

The conversation with Judge Anderson had been awkward to say the least, but it had been informative, and he had promised to deliver the files on Sara, with a further promise of the files about the commune as soon as he knew where to look for them. He had been respectful enough too not ask Sara too many questions, understanding she would soon enough have enough people judging her and her past actions. He had also wanted to stay as clear from the case as possible, in case it one day ended up in his courtroom, he didn't want to have a prejudged bias to work from to jeopardize anything. A few hours after the call, Sara was sat nervously in a large layout room in the crime lab, her hands nursing a cup of tea, although she was yet to take a sip.

Catherine quietly slipped into the room, nursing her own cup of tea, files under her arms, she sits down opposite Sara, unsure what to say at first, but decides to just come out with what was on her mind 'Are you sure about this Sara?' she asked, one hand reaching out and across the table towards Sara, but not yet making contact. Sara just nods, her mind focused elsewhere. After a few moments, she quietly speaks.

'Who else knows what happens in the morgue Catherine? I don't think you and Doc could have got me home without help… who else was there?' It was the first time Sara had asked about the incident where she had passed out and then become hysterical, and Catherine was unsure on just how honest to be with her. Still waiting for an answer, Sara bought her eyes up to Catherine's and asked again 'Who?'

Catherine sighed, and pulled her arm back, now sure that Sara wouldn't even want her attempting to touch her, or to offer any comfort. 'Hodges…'

'_Her name is Sophie… My Daughters name is Sophie…'Sara cried out, her body shaking with angry hurtful sobs, her hold on Catherine growing tighter, her breathe uneasy, panicky. Suddenly Sara was pushing Catherine away, her hands clenched and flailing, trying to connect with anything within their reach. She started to scream,and she pushed herself up off the floor and shaking legs, ignoring Catherine who was trying to grab hold of her arms, to confine her. Trap her. Sara's arms were swinging wildly, screaming wildly between sobs, tears falling down her face, her skin flushed. Lurching forward she upturned the tray of instruments that Doc Robbins had neatly laid out, causing Catherine and Doc to jump at the outburst and the sound of the metal tools clattering onto the floor, but Sara didn't even notice. She kicked at another table, though this one didn't move, again Sara didn't notice. 'Sophie!' Sara cried out, her voice cracking slightly, her whole body shaking and tense. Turning to the cold storage drawers, Sara started pounding her fists against the metal, each blow hard and strong, though slowly getting weaker. Only a few seconds had really passed, seconds in which Catherine and Doc had been stuck, frozen in place, unsure how to react, what to do, or how to help. Seconds in which there was now a knocking on the locked double doors. Hodges face looking shocked through the glass windows, trying to get the attention of the people in the room. He had no idea why Sara was hysterically tearing the room apart, why she was half dressed, or why no one seemed to be doing anything about it. Hodges pounded on the door again 'Doc… Catherine…' he called 'What's going on….' Eventually Catherine heard him, and then realized what was happening, and how she had frozen up from Sara's actions. 'Shit… Doc… Doc… we need to do something…' Catherine tore her eyes away from Sara, and noticed that Doc had started to move towards a cabinet on the other side of the room. Opening it, her took something out 'Get Hodges in here…' he demanded, and although Catherine didn't know why, she knew better than to argue with him at this time. Scrambling to the doors as quickly as possible, she unlocked them, pulled Hodges inside, and then locked them once more. _

'_What's…' Hodges started_

'_Shut up…' Doc snapped, walking towards them, something in his hand 'We need to pin her down… '_

'_What? NO!' Catherine snapped_

'_We have to Catherine… she's destroying the place, hurting herself… she's hysterical, and if we don't calm her down she will comprise every case in here, including our Jane Doe!' as he said this, he raised his hand to show Catherine and David the needle in his hands 'We need to subdue her… we need to give her this, and we need to do it now…'_

'_What is it?' Catherine asked_

'_Sedative…Hodges, do you think you can grab hold of Sara…'_

_Sara was half stood, half slumped in the corner of the room, her face almost blank, as she slammed her body against the wall, over and over again the word 'Sophie' falling from her lips as if it was a mantra. Her body was exhausted, and her mind was slowly shutting down, and she slowly began to sink to her knees_

'_Yeah…' Hodges replied, confused as hell, but trying to keep his cool, he walked as calmly as possible towards Sara, Doc close behind, Catherine reluctantly following, the seriousness of the situation slowly dawning on her._

'_Sara… Sara sweetie… you need to calm down…' She said in the most calming and motherly tone she could manage, hoping to pull Sara back into the room with her voice._

_Everyone took a step closer, as Sara tried to move even further back._

'_Sara… Doc needs to examine your injuries, so please, just calm down….please baby, calm down…' Catherine had no idea where the need to call Sara pet names came from, but she wasn't going to question anything that might help at this moment in time._

_Hodges cautiously reached out to her, her arms still swinging around, though with much less energy and force. Sara tried pulling away, but found she couldn't move backwards, or anywhere, to escape. Hodges hand gripped a bit tighter, despite the protests 'GET OFF ME!' Sara screamed, not that it made any difference at all, so she tried something else, and bringing her other arm up, she swung and connected her fist directly into Hodges eye. Hodges instantly removed his hold from Sara, his hands going up to his face and his already blackening eye, and in the next moment, Doc had got close enough to plunge the needle into Sara's arm, the effect almost immediate, her body sagging down on to the floor, her eyes closing._

'Stop!' Sara snapped 'Please stop… I've heard enough…' she pushed herself away from the table, turning her back to Catherine, willing the tears not to fall.

'I'm sorry Sara…' Catherine said, unsure what to do. After a moment, Sara turned around, her composure returning.

'It's ok… I'm glad you told me… I'm just sorry I forgot… '

Catherine just smiled weakly in response

'So… you and Hodges got me home… and then you decided to stay with me, in case I freaked out again? Have you told Hodges why…why I freaked?'

'No… Not yet… Not exactly. He knows your upset about the Jane Doe case, but he doesn't know why. It's not my place to tell him. Look… Sara, Are you sure you want to do this?' Catherine asked again.

Sara just nodded 'Yeah… Yeah, I'm sure. Besides… Everyone will be here in a few minutes… ummm… perhaps you could do me a favour though?'

'Sure' Catherine replied softly, her hand once again reaching out to Sara, and this time making contact with her arm

'Perhaps you could get Hodges to join us?'

Xxx

Sara sat quietly on her stool, a room full of eyes watching her, no one really knew why they had been gathered here, and no one wanted to say anything.

'Just waiting for 2 more people…' Sara said keeping her face straight, just as Catherine and Hodges walked into the room. Sara's face faltered, as she took in Hodges black eye. No one else really reacted though, so Sara realised they all already knew about it, even if they didn't know how he had gotten it.

As she waited for Hodges to take a seat, Catherine came and stood next to her, briefly placing her hand on her shoulder in a gesture of comfort.

Sara cleared her throat, and looked around 'Thanks for coming in everybody…'

Before her, some standing, and some sitting around the room, were Jim Brass, Vartaan, Sofia, Nick, Greg and Ray, alongside, Wendy, Archie, Mandy, Hodges, Doc Robbins and Superdave, Ecklie,the Police Officer Mitch, and the two day shift CSI's, Jason and Tony.

'What's this about Sara?' Greg asked, never one for keeping quiet. Sara tried to speak, but her voice caught in her throat, but thank fully Catherine started to speak for her.

'A few days ago dayshift caught a case, Jane Doe, found dead in her motel room. The daughter, 5, called it in. We have reason to believe we know who the victim is…but we still don't know why she was there, who did this…or well… anything… '

'What a minute' Jason jumped in 'This is my case… '

Catherine held up her hand effectively silencing him. 'I know… and, it still will be your case, if you want it, after we've shared with you some important information.'

Sara was sat fiddling with the mug in her hands, but was aware that nearly everyone in the room was staring at her, taking a deep breath, she placed her hand on Catherine's arm 'It's ok… I've got this…' Catherine looked at her with concern in her eyes, but just nodded.

Sara stood, cleared her throat, and started to speak

'I've got a connection to the victim… not that I've seen her in 20 years… but, I know who our Jane Doe is. I can't be involved in this case, but I would appreciate it if all of you were. By the time I've told you what I can, some of you may want to walk away, and that's ok. No one is making you stay on this case, and if anything else comes up, then that should be your priority… '

'What connection?' Eckile interrupted, not liking Sara's rambling

'I'm getting there… ' Sara shot back, her hand running through her hair 'First, I think we should hear what, if anything, Day shift have found, and what Doc has found at autopsy. We're going to have to approach this case from two angles… now, and 20 years ago… so, Jason, anything you can tell us?' Sara said making eye contact with him for the first time.

Jason shifted nervously in his seat 'Umm… Jane Doe was found a few days ago, Baby Jane, her 5 year old Daughter, called it in. She was at Sunrise Motel, we got the call about 2pm. Little girl said her mum had collapsed in pain, and wasn't breathing. Medics arrived, but it was too late. Then we arrived. Girl seems fine. Ummm… They paid cash, no I.D, credit cards, anything like that. Barely any luggage, just clothes for a couple of days, girl only had a couple of toys, and one book, so it looks as if they either packed in a hurry, or weren't planning on staying too long. They'd paid for 3 nights at the motel, had been there for 1. Nothing useful in the motel, so I don't think whatever killed her, happened there. Until we get an I.D we can't figure out much else. Girls in a group home now, but other than the 911 call, she hasn't really spoken. That's all I know for now.'

As Jason had been speaking, Sara had paled a little, and her knees had gone weak, causing her to fall back into her chair, if anyone noticed, no one had said anything.

'Thanks…. ' Sara turned her head to Doc 'What did autopsy tell you?' she asked, although she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye. Doc Robbins felt uncomfortable, he had wanted to tell Sara in private, before the meeting was called, but he hadn't had the chance too, and now he would have to tell her about Sophie's death in front of a room full of people. He could only hope that Sara wouldn't crack again with the pressure of it all, and that he wouldn't have to use the sedative laced needle he had slipped into his coat pocket.

'At first…' he started 'I couldn't see anything obvious, but further examination revealed signs of long term abuse, going back about 6 years… bones in various degrees of healing, old fractures… typical domestic abuse trauma. C.O.D was a slow, deep internal bleeding. She was beaten 2-4 days before her death. She would have been in pain, but not really known why. I think she had probably had enough, and that's why she was at the motel…' he finished, his eyes focused completely on Sara, who was very pale and shaking slightly, her hands curled tightly into fists. 'I'm sorry' he added quietly. Sara just shook her head slightly, her eyes clamped shut, she pushed herself from the table and made a run for the door, pushing a few people out of her way, hoping to make it to the bathroom before being sick. Everyone looked shocked, but no one knew what to do. Doc looked at Catherine, and nodded, and then turned to follow Sara out of the room. He could tell how much Catherine had wanted to run after her, but they both knew someone had to stay and finish telling the tale to the group in the room.

'Catherine… what the hell is going on?' Nick said, his voice thick with concern, saying what no one else had had the courage too yet.

'Ummm… Wendy… have you got the DNA results…' Catherine asked trying to ignore everyone's stares. Wendy just nodded, and silently handed the older woman 3 pieces of paper. Catherine briefly looked at them, what she already knew had been confirmed.

'When Sara was younger, she ended up in foster care. Somewhere along the lines, she got caught up in a commune… a cult of sorts. She had a baby. She then ended up in hospital. A pschytriac ward to be exact. During that time… during that time, her baby was forcibly adopted, but she doesn't know where, or when… Sara hadn't seen her child since she was taken at 6 weeks old. A few days ago, Sara's baby… Sophie… ended up in the morgue. She's our Jane Doe.' Catherine stopped, unable to carry on. Around her the room was murmuring, everyone mumbling under their breath. No one had had any clue that Sara was a mother, and few knew anything about her being in foster care. It was a lot to take in. Catherine composed herself again.

'Look… I know this is a lot to take in… but Sara, and the girl in the morgue, and the girl in the group home all need our help. Sara doesn't remember the finer details of the cult…or exact dates. We've managed to get her files… ' Catherine gestured to the documents on the table 'We need to look through Sara's past, in order to figure out where Sophie came from, then we can figure out how and why she died. I don't think we're going to find much too go off from the motel… the girl won't speak. In order to go forward, we have to go back…'

Something moving caught the corner of Catherine's eye, and she moved to look through the door way, everyone noticed her look, and also turned their attentions to the door.

Sara stood there, eyes puffy, but her stance solid 'No one has to help if they don't want too…' Doc's walking stick clicking on the ground was the only sound interrupting Sara's words, as he ambled back over to her. '…but, I have a granddaughter, and I need to be able to explain to her why her mother isn't around anymore. Any help, and help at all, that I can get, I will be grateful for. Some of you may hate me after you've uncovered my past, I may even lose my job, my respect, my friends… but right now, the only thing that matters is solving this case, so if that means I get dragged through the dirt, honestly… I don't care. Just, please, please help me… if you can't, please just leave now…' Sara said, her composure crumbling with every word.

Whilst she had been speaking, Catherine had got up and walked towards her, and the moment Sara had finished, she had pulled her into an embrace, holding her closely, not caring about the eyes on them.

For a moment, no body spoke, no body moved, and then, the scraping of a chairs legs on the floor could be heard. Someone was going to walk away and leave.


	5. Chapter 5

Sara lifted her head to see Hodges stood up, an awkward look on his face

'…Sara…' he started, unsure where to look. Sara straightened up a bit, her eyes meeting briefly with his, before looking down again.

'It's fine…' she mumbled, hurt that not everyone was willing to help her out.

'It's not that… ' Sara looked up at him again her face puzzled.

'Look… if you promise not to punch me again, I'd be happy to help, as would everyone else, I'm sure…' Hodges spoke, thinking it best to speak for the rest of the room, especially as no one had made a move either way. Sara just nodded slightly at his words, unable to answer him back.

'I… I have a few questions though?' Hodges asked tentivatly, and again Sara just nodded, as she pushed herself out of Catherine's arms, to take a seat.

'If your daughter was adopted… why do you need to go after this… this cult… surely we need to look into CPS, Hospitals… she was taken after you'd left… I'm confused to why we'd need to shift through that…past, that ordeal for you….' Hodges was trying his best to sound caring and concerned, and not the emotionless analyst everyone thought he was, but he also knew that right now, his logic was fairly sound, although granted he didn't know the full story.

Sara smiled weakly 'I don't remember the name of the hospital I was in… too many drugs… I don't remember where this… commune… was, not exactly…I know the information for one or another will be somewhere in my juvie or medical records… what I do remember, very clearly, is being told that it had been the Fathers wish to give the baby up… and as I was underage, and declared mentally unfit, I got no say in the matter. I only found this out after being kicked out of the hospital. I'd just turned 18, and the government no longer wanted to pay for my care… no one did. What I can tell you is this… her father… Sophie's father, was the leader of the cult… he took my baby!' Sara had been trying to keep herself together, she didn't want to appear any weaker than she already felt. Having a room full of eyes on her was becoming unbearable. Catherine moved to place her hand on Sara's shoulder, but she jerked out from under the touch, unable to withstand any further contact, especially from the women whom she had been kissing a few hours before. Taking a deep breath, she looked around the room, into the faces of the people who surrounded her, most broke eye contact after a few seconds, but when she reached Vartann, he didn't look away.

They sat staring at each other, until a voice broke the silence once more.

'Does Grissom know?' Sara closed her eyes, and shook her head no in response to Hodges question, her shoulders slumped. Sara pushed herself up, and abruptly left the room, mumbling that she needed to go over her shoulder. No one made to move, or to follow her, although they wished they could. Catherine once again took over the room.

'So… are we helping?' Once again no one moved, but after a beat, Jason stood up 'Look… I'm sorry this happened to Sidle, but we have other cases to be working… we'll get you the case notes and little evidence we have, but we can't be involved in this…' With that he left the room.

'Anyone else?... Sophia… Vartann?' Catherine asked, her eyes locked into Vartanns.

After a further beat, Vartann spoke 'What do you need us to do?' Catherine smiled a little, before allowing her professionalism to slid back into place.

'Right… Well, perhaps if Ray and Greg could go over the current scene, with Mitch as back up… Sofia, could you come with me to see the little girl? Nick, Vartann… perhaps you could look through Sara's juvie and medical files?' Catherine turned to look at the techs in the room 'Work the evidence, but please, don't put other cases aside. They're just as important… same if anything else comes in, and one of us needs to step away for a while…' The techs just nodded their understanding. Catherine turned so she could see Brass and Eckile 'Could you perhaps run damage control as and when needed?'

Eckilie gave a curt nod in response 'Sara can't be involved directly in this case Catherine…' he said in a cold voice

'I know…'

Ecklie nodded again 'If anyone needs to interview her about their findings, please do so in an official capacity, I want to prevent as much bite-back as possible. Please try and keeps yourselves objective. Any questions?' Ecklie asked, scanning the room.

Hodges cleared his throat, unsure how to say what he needed too.

'Yes?' Catherine and Ecklie snapped at the same time.

'When I was down in autopsy… I saw the tattoo on both Jane Doe, and on Sara…' he ignored the puzzled looks around the room, and was grateful when Doc Robbins threw a photo down on the table, showing the faded tattooed VII. 'I… I've seen it before…' at this, every head snapped towards him.

'What…?' Catherine screamed, furious that now he had said something, but also grateful that perhaps he knew something.

'Yeah… I um…' Hodges awkwardly ran his fingers through his hair. 'I ummmm….'

'Spit it out Hodges!' Catherine screamed again.

'8 years ago, before I came to Vegas… I spent a little time in San Francisco… one night, well, one night I picked up a hooker….I don't remember too much about the night… but, I do remember the tattoo, because, well, I thought it was an odd place to have it, and it looked badly done.' Hodges looked down at the floor, his skin flushed, clearly embarrassed by his revelation, although he knew it was important.

'What was the girl like?' Ecklie asked, trying not too sound to angry, and wanting to try and command some control over the room and the situation.

'Umm… Caucasian, average height, blonde hair, green eyes… perhaps about… 25…30? Sorry, I don't remember anything else.' He said not daring to look at anybody.

'Ok… Ok…' Catherine answered calmly, her hands resting on the table 'Can you remember where you picked her up? Or how? Anything to help track her down?'

'I was at some bar… used my credit card for some drinks I think… I remember the date… I'll look at my bank records, and get back to you…' he said quickly leaving the room, not wanting to answer any more questions on the subject.

Xxx

Sara had only known she had to leave the room before she broke down again, but she hadn't thought too much about where she was going, slumping into the chair, she tried to relax, to ease some of the tension in her body, but found it difficult. She couldn't understand why she was reacting like she was. She had barely thought of her daughter in years, and had spent a long time just pretending she didn't exist, that it had never happened. She was exhausted, and felt guilt and shame wash over her, but she wasn't mourning or grieving. How could she, for someone she'd only known for a few weeks a life time ago. She felt regretful, and remorseful and her past actions, although she knew nothing could be done to fix them.

Mostly, she felt angry, that even though she had been given up, it seemed that her Daughter still hadn't escaped the horrors of life, and had most likely lived a similar life and upbringing, and that her grand daughter had also experienced the dark side of life, although she wasn't sure to what extent just yet.

Sara tried to pull herself together, but her legs were shaking badly, and she couldn't control the jitter taking over her body. She pulled out her phone, wanting to dial Grissom, to talk to him, to make him come back. The support of her Husband, the man who knew her, and some of her past, would be beneficial. She knew that. But she couldn't bring herself to call him. Not yet. Not yet.

She didn't know how long she sat there for, but eventually she heard the door open, and in walked Catherine and Sofia, talking about the case, however as soon as they saw the brunette, they stopped.

'Sara…' Sofia said, her voice calm, but her face anything but, as she took in the sight of the woman's shaking body.

Sara looked up, blinking, a little confused, but didn't answer.

'Sara… are you ok?' Catherine asked, walking further into her office, Sofia following and closing the door behind her. Again, Sara didn't answer.

Even though they were in Catherine's office, Catherine felt a little awkward, and unsure how to proceed. Sara had been through a lot on the past few days, and she didn't want to say or do anything that would make the situation worse.

'Sara…?' Sofia tried again, and with that, Sara snapped back into the room.

'Has anyone spoken to the girl yet?' She asked, her voice surprisingly calm, even though she was still shaking slightly.

'Ummm… no…'

'Why?'

'You've only been in her 15 minutes Sara… we are on our way to see her now…' Sofia replied, both woman taking a cautious step towards the brunette.

'Oh…' was Sara's reply, as she looked almost blankly at her watch, before snapping her head back up, the shaking in her leg getting more intense, although it seemed she hadn't noticed. 'Can I come?' she asked, a hint of hopefulness within her voice.

Catherine and Sofia looked at each other, unsure what to say.

'Please?' Sara added in a whisper.

Catherine nodded 'Ok… just as soon as you stop shaking…' she tried to smile, whilst Sara just looked confused, before looking at her leg. 'Oh…' She placed a hand on her leg, trying to still the motion.

Sofia cautiously placed her hand on Sara's shoulder 'I'll give you two a minute, grab some coffee for us all, we'll leave whenever you're ready Sara.'

Sara just nodded in reply, watching Sofia leave. As soon as they were alone, Catherine couldn't help herself, and she pulled the younger woman into her arms. Somehow, it just felt right to Catherine, to hold Sara close, even if they circumstances of their new psychical closeness was less than ideal.

Sara allowed herself to be held for a moment, before pushing away.

'Don't…'

'Don't what?' Catherine asked confused, crouching down in front of Sara.

'Don't keep comforting me like this… you've got Vartaan, and my heads a mess.' Sara whispered.

Catherine just smiled 'I'd be doing this for anyone Sara, I'm not doing this just because of what happened, I'm doing this, because right now, it's what you need, and I know you wouldn't let anyone else get this close to you. Comforting you doesn't have a hidden agenda, I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable, I'm just trying to make you feel safe…' Catherine said, her hand lightly caressing Sara's cheek.

Sara nodded, and smiled a little.

Xxx

Eventually Sara had calmed her nerves a little, and the three woman had walked out of the crime lab, and were now in the car on their way to see the little girl. Sofia was driving, and Catherine had opted to sit in the back with Sara, their hands entwined, neither caring what Sofia would think if she saw. Right now, Sara needed the reassurance, and Catherine was one of the few who could provide it. Sofia cleared her throat, and began talking

'We'll be there in a few minutes Sara…' she began glancing through the rear view mirror 'You have to let Catherine and I do our job… this girl doesn't know who you are, not yet, and she's dealing with a massive upheaval in her life. It's going to be tough Sara, but you need to try and keep objective, and not get to emotional. Depending on what we find out, and how you both react to one another, well, it could have a big impact on what happens in the future. In both your futures. Do you understand?'

Sara nodded, and whispered out a 'yes'

Sofia smiled 'Good, just remember, let us do our job… if it gets too much, just leave the room, ok?'

Sara just nodded in response, as Sofia pulled up outside the group home where the girl was staying.

Xxxxx

\- A/N – Sorry it took so long to get this up, work has been hectic, and I've been watching a lot of CSI, rather than writing it. Next chapter will be speaking to the girl, and a look at the case files. Sorry it doesn't seem like much has happened this chapter. Emz


	6. Chapter 6

A/N-

I've got no idea how a medical file would really look or be laid out, and also, this is set back in season 10, so that really means 2010-ish, so Sara in the story would be, 37…so, I'm working on maths/years from that, not the current year of 2019 xxxx

Nick looked at the file in his hands, it was Sara's medical history, and he really didn't want to open in it. The files was thicker than it should have been, indicating that Sara had been to the hospital and emergency rooms more times than she should have, but he also suspected that not everything that had happened to her was contained within the files. Sighing, he pinched his nose, and then opened up the file

_Sara Grace Sidle, D.O.B August 21__st__, 1973_

_SGS presents with grazed knee and hand, glass in cut, fall in kitchen carrying jug. Wounds cleaned, 4 stitches. No other injuries, date of incident September 19__th__, 1979_

_SGS presents with badly sprained ankle, fall and twisted leg running in garden. Taped and bandaged for support, crutches given, advised to rest, half dose co-codamol given. Date of incident, December 26__th__ 1979_

_SGS presents with broken wrist and bruising to arm. Hit ball badly during game of baseball. X-ray, cast and splint. Some old fractures apparent, but no medical history of treatment. Sidle family spent time in Canada, said treatment was there. No concerns, date of incident September 19__th__ 1981_

Nick continued to read, there were several pages to the report, the first being when she was just 6 years old. He couldn't believe that no one had seen a pattern to her injuries, or that no one had raised any flags, but thinking about it, back then, a lot of people looked the other way. He glanced through the rest of the file, wanting to take in everything he could, but also knowing he should only focus on the hospital records directly related to her pregnancy, and the time spend in the hospital after the commune had been raided. However, a large report stopped him in his tracks. He read through it several times, feeling angrier every time, but also, now, finally understanding why Sara was the way she was with certain cases, and with her trust issues and quietness, especially in those first years that she had come to Las Vegas. She was only 13 when this particular incidence was recorded.

Xxx

'Hi, I'm Sofia Curtis, this is Catherine Willows, and Sara Sidle, were with the crime lab, were her to talk to the girl that was bought in a few days ago, she was in a motel with her mum, she's about 5…' Sofia said, extending her hand to the lady who answered the door, whilst gesturing with her other hand to the ladies with her. The lady who answered the door ignored the outstretched hand 'Took you long enough to get her, but it's no use. She doesn't talk…'

Sara stepped forward, and was going to say something, but a hand on her arm stopped her 'Ma'am, we still need to speak to her, it's very important…' Catherine said.

The lady nodded after a moment 'Fine…' she stepped aside the let the ladies in.

'Thank you' Sofia said 'Are you in charge here?'

'Yes, I'm Claire Holland, I've been working here for about 7 years now… this girl is one of the worst I've seen…' she said, leaning against the wall, as Children of varying ages ran around.

'How do you mean?' Catherine asked, her arm still lightly touching Sara, silently communicating with her to keep her cool.

'Well, she hasn't said a word, just sits by herself most of the day, holding her teddy, or playing by herself. She eats well, sleeps ok I guess… had a few accidents in the night though. Mostly gets ignored by the other kids… she understands us, as far as I can tell, at least a little bit. You ask her something, tell her to do something, and she does, she just doesn't speak. Seems to be in a world of her own. We've tried a few different things, but nothing seems to work. But, she must talk, right? She called for an ambulance, called for help at that motel? We don't even know her name… in fact, the only think she has said, was the name of her teddy bear, she called him Flint. Odd name for a toy, don't you think?' Claire rambled, her eyes half following some of the children running around.

'Claire… Ma'am… do you think we could see her, somewhere quiet if possible?' Sofia asked, cutting off the rambling. Claire just nodded 'Yes… of course, if you think it will help…'

'It will' Sara mumbled quietly, her eyes glazed a little. She was nervous and unsure, wondering if it was wise to be here. She was so close to meeting her granddaughter, and she felt sick.

Xxxx

_SGS presents with bruising around wrists, a black eye, split lip, and evidence of sexual assault –Rape. Some cuts to body, and arms, not as bad as initially thought, as some blood not own. Stitches on arm, and to vaginal tearing. Unclear if previous abuse/sexual abuse taken place. SGS stable but non-responsive. Injuries sustained by Father, now deceased, and Mother, arrested. Findings reported to local police. SGS to be taken into Foster Care, once recovered enough from current injuries and seen by therapist. Date of Incidence August 21__st__ 1986 – 13__th__ Birthday._

Nick ran a hand through his hair, breath catching in his throat, trying to understand what he had just read. Closing the file, he pushed himself away from the table, and quickly left the room. He needed a little time to compose himself before reading through the rest of the files.

Xx

Sara sat perched on the edge of her chair, trying to fight of her instinct to run once again, whilst they waited for Claire to bring the girl into the room for them. Sofia sat on the sofa, whilst Catherine leant against the table. A few minutes later, Claire and the little girl entered the room, and sensing the tension in the room, Claire soon left again. She was far too busy to sit around whilst they tried to talk to her, especially as she believe it to be a wasted effort.

'Hi… I'm Sofia…' the blonde detective said gently, leaning forward in her chair, smiling at the small brunette girl before her. The girl stood, not reacting, just holding her teddy a little closer 'What's your name?' she asked. The girl looked towards Catherine, and then to Sara, and then back to Sofia, before looking down at the toy in her arms.

'These are my friends, Catherine..and Sara..' Sofia said gesturing between the two. 'We work for the police, and catch badies and solve puzzles…' Sofia leant a little further forward, voice lowered 'Wanna help us with a puzzle?'

All Sara could do was sit and watch silently, her emotions constricting inside of her. She didn't know how to really react to the presence in front of her, still almost disbelieving that they girl before them was her own blood. She wanted to know what had happened, how to protect her, but she also felt like an outsider, a fraud, a failure, that somehow, it was her fault things had ended up the way they had. As Sara was watching the girl, Catherine was watching Sara, ready to intervene or comfort at a moments notice.

The girl nodded ever so slightly at Sofia's words, but didn't move otherwise.

'Can you tell me teddy's name?'

'Flint…' the girl whispered, her voice quiet and unsure of itself.

'Flint…' Sofia repeated 'That's a nice name... ' Sofia tried to smile 'What's your name?' She asked again. With this the little girl dropped her head again, and then reached into her pocket, and pulled out a silver necklace with a gemstone set into the locket. She pushed it into Sofia's hands, and then walked away, to sit down next to some books and toys in the corner.

All three older women furrowed their brows in utter confusion, Sofia looked briefly at the necklace, before standing and walking over to Sara 'Does this mean anything to you?'

Sara took the necklace, and looked it over, a simple silver chain held a locket with pale blue gemstones in it, a pattern of vines etched on the precious metal, turning it, she saw it was hallmarked and she could tell it was very old, but well looked after. 'No…' she mumbled, pushing the necklace back into Sofia's hands.

As Sara had been looking at the jewellery, the girl had started to pull some books off the shelve, and had now opened one, and was flipping through the pages clearly in search of something.

Catherine noticed, and carefully went over to crouch next to her 'Hey…' she said, her voice quiet, glancing down she saw that the girl had pulled open a book of maps. 'What are you looking for…'

The girl said something no one understood, and carried on turning page over page, not finding what she wanted within the maps the book held.

'Here…' Catherine pulled out her table from her handbag 'Use this…' she said opening up the GoogleMaps app. The girl cautiously pulled the device to her, and then started to slowly type something, as she repeated the word she had mumbled over and over again.

She pushed the tablet back to Catherine, a map of a small town shown on the screen 'Monmouth' the map read. 'Adref 'the girl repeated 'Home'she said quietly, smiling.

Catherine zoomed out of the map very confused, she had no idea where Monmouth was, or what Adref even meant. Zooming out, her face paled, and she looked between Sara and the girl 'Umm… Guys…' She said after a moment 'I… She… She probably isn't speaking much because she doesn't understand us…' Sara just looked at her, her emotions boiling over into anger with Catherine's bumbling voice. 'What do you mean Cat?' she spat out

'I mean… Well… she grew up in Wales… as in Wales… the U.K…'

With that all three heads spun around to look at the girl intently, as she was sat holding her toy close, a smile on her face.

Xxx

A/n – Sorry again for the slow update, been hectic with work and stuff again. I had the idea of Sophie and therefor granddaughter being bought up outside of the USA, and of their being a language barrier. I had first thought Canada, but with Sara knowing French I thought that too easy, so I've gone with Wales.

I know very very basic welsh, so bear with the mistakes. Monmouth is indeed a place in wales, and, adref means home. More to be revealed later. Please review emz


	7. Chapter 7

They hadn't got much else out of the girl, but they had got a name, Sian, and they now knew to look for further family and clues to Sophie's murder they had to look outside of the USA. Knowing she had been badly beaten about 4 days before dying from internal injuries, it was possible she had been beaten in Wales, and then had fled to Las Vegas.

They hoped the necklace would perhaps prove a further clue, it had to be unique, so once the stone had been identified, they hoped they could track down a dealer. This was going to be a little more complicated than they thought however. The gemstones had been identified as something called Blue John, a stone only found in one area of Derbyshire, England. This meant someone, Greg and Hodges, making many calls to antique dealers across the pond, trying to track down the necklace, and there for the owner. Of course, it was a long shot, it could have been in one person's possession for many many years before, and there for finding a record for it was slim, but still, they needed to try.

Other than that, they had the option of checking all incoming flights for the past 2 weeks, looking for a flight that could have carried both Sophie and Sian. Searching this way seemed more hopeful, but with many flights to check from Vegas airport alone, it would take a while to track everything down.

Everyone was busy chasing down one thing or another, doing what they could for Sara's case in-between other cases that had come in. At first Sara had tried to keep herself busy, to work a simple B and E at a convenience store, but she had found it hard to focus. She had wrapped the case quickly, an inside job for insurance, and then realised had it been a more complicated case, she could have messed up and allowed for a suspect to get away with the crime. So, she had decided the best course of action was to leave the lab for a few days. No one had come to her yet to ask any questions, partly because there was yet anything to ask, and partly because they were avoiding her, particularly Nick Stokes.

Xxx

It had been two days since Nick had read the report, and he still felt sick thinking about it. After taking a break, he had carried on reading, he had had no choice. The rest of the file hadn't been so heavy, but it hadn't been very helpful either. The rest of the report had seemed genuine, very few injuries or hospital trips. He didn't know if it was because in that time Sara had been in a stable foster home and environment, or if any incidents had not been recorded. There was no medical information at all about Sara's pregnancy, in fact nothing at all for nearly 18 months. Then, on the last page of this particular report – Her record of being in the facility was another record all together- he read something almost even more distressing than that of what had occurred on her 13th Birthday.

_SGS Bought in following a Police operation on Oakridge Farm, an intimate commune ran by Jackson 'Twig' Holland, along with rest of community. SGS malnourished, quiet and withdrawn, reluctant to be separated from Daughter, Sophie, 6 weeks old. SGS unwilling to cooperate or communicate, coming down from Magic Mushroom high, with high levels of THC also in system. Reacted strongly to mention of 'Twig' claiming that without him she would be lost, that he had not only saved her, but the entire camp from self-destructing, and that she loved him. Clammed up again when asked about Tattoo on side – Roman Numeral VII, all members of Oakridge have same mark, including baby Sophie. Became unresponsive for a while after this. It's been confirmed that Father of Baby is 'Twig', but given SGS history – See Police Report – it is unlikely he will be charged for this. SGS is mentally unstable and suffering from disassociated behaviours, possibly due to drug use, and history, also showing signs of depression, self-neglect, and an overly high dependence for 'Twig' – Stockholm has been suggested. She will be kept here until progress made. It is also in her best interest to be separated from rest of Oakridge, especially from 'Twig' and from Daughter, Sophie. Contact with either right now will only hinder any healing process. Drip will be set up to renourish SGS body, and careful monitoring recommended throughout. Camp now shut down. Casefile number 7258 will now be closed, and Casefile 65037 will be used for time in St Luke's Hospital for Older Children and the Homeless._

_Signed, Sister Olive Hallam._

Nick had yet to go to anyone with the news he had uncovered, he didn't want to get anyone's hopes up until he had something more concrete, but now that he had a name, he had been able to pull the file on Jackson Holland, Oakridge Farm, and the second medical file from the Hospital which had been missed the first time around. He also had the Juvie file to look into. At first it had been suggested he have help looking at the files, but he had quickly dismissed the idea, and Sara had been grateful for it. Although the truth would out to all in the end, they had wanted to delay it, as long as it didn't interfere with the progress of the case, and the answers Sara so desperately needed for her Daughters sake.

Xxx

Since seeing Sian, Sara had avoided seeing Catherine, unsure of where the two now stood with one another. She had wrapped the B and E, and had then fled the lab. She had seen Nick, seen his face, and she knew, she just knew, he had read the files, knew some of her history, and it was more than she could take. She had tried to keep it together, but that one look had been her undoing. She knew that eventually she would have to talk to him, but right now, she couldn't. She couldn't talk to anyone. Her Husband was thousands of miles away, her Daughter was dead, her Grand Daughter didn't understand through the language barrier, and she had lost the friend she had in Catherine because in a moment of weakness, she had kissed her. Now Sara sat in her empty house, bottles surrounding her. Some open, some untouched. She sat staring at them, wanting so badly to reach out for them. To consume them. Wiping a tear from her eye, she caught sight of the picture on her fridge. It was the first photo she had of her and Grissom, the Golden Gate Bridge in the background. It had been a life time ago.

She wondered once more, if things would have turned out differently, had she told Gil all those years ago about her little girl. Would she be alone now, if she had done just one thing differently. Mind made up, she gathered the bottles into a box, and left the house.

She drove with the intention of driving to the lab, of asking someone to take the alcohol from her possession, to stop her from another dark path. Turning down a road, she passed the rental garage she had driven past many times before, but this time, something caught her eye, and so she pulled in. She hesitated for only a moment, before stepping out of her car, before approaching an older, balding man, enquiring about a car on the lot.

Xxx

Several hours later, Sara was sat in the rental car, looking out towards the desert, watching the stars, several empty beer bottles in the seat next to her. She had tried to be strong, but she just couldn't be, not yet. She needed to break down a little further, before she could pull herself up. She knew it was reckless, but it was all she had. She remembered the look in Nick's eye, and the memories were too much to bare. She couldn't help but remember the night her father had died, she couldn't help but feel guilty, confused, disgusted with herself. None of it had been his fault, but no one believed her. They had all believed her to be lying, confused, shaken by the event. No one had believed her over her Mother, and so, she hadn't ever spoken about it again. Again, she couldn't help but wonder, would things have perhaps turned out differently, if she had continued to try and tell the truth.

Hands shaking, she reached for her phone, and dialled.

'Sara…? Sara where are you…?' Came Catherine's voice.

'I'm sorry… I'm sorry…' Sara slurred a little, tears streaming down her face.

'Sara, it's ok… have you been drinking?' Catherine asked pacing up and down in her office. A hiccup fall from Sara's lips, confirming Catherine's thoughts.

'Ok Sara, it's ok, tell me where you are..'

'The desert…' Sara whispered

Catherine's breath hitched 'The… the desert… Sara, why are you in the desert? Are you alone, are you hurt?'

Sara closed her eyes, and leant her head back against the seat 'Not hurt… just drunk…' she giggled a little despite herself 'It was so pretty Catherine… so pretty… like a black widow… dangerous, but pretty… I couldn't help myself…'

'Sara… slow down, what are you talking about honey? What was pretty?' Catherine sat down in her office chair, head in her hands, trying to work out what Sara was talking about.

'The car… it was so shinny… just… waiting… I took it… drove it… now I'm here…' she whispered, the alcohol showing even more in her voice.

'What car Sara?'

'I didn't mean to… I was looking for you… it was in the Garage… I wanted you to confiscate it…'

'Confiscate what Sara?' Catherine pleaded, not liking where this conversation was going

'The booze.. I was on my way to the lab, to give it up… Then I saw it… it was so pretty… so pretty… don't be mad…' Sara choked out.

'What was pretty Sara?' Catherine choked out

'The car.. so Red, so shiny, a red mustang… I knew.. I just knew, it was an omen… I took it, drove it to the desert… I don't know where, it doesn't matter where… I'm going for a walk now Catherine, Goodbye.' With that Sara hung up the phone, downed another bottle of beer, and stepped out of the car, bringing the half bottle of whiskey, and two bottles of wine with her.

Xxx

A/n – Sorry this was mostly descriptive, with only talking at the end. I wanted to move the story on a couple of days, but also show Sara's state of mind right now.

For those who may have forgotten, Sara was trapped under a Red Mustang in Living Doll/Dead Doll.

Please review and tell me what you think, thanks, Emz.


	8. Chapter 8

Catherine sat in her office, trying to concentrate on some much overdue paperwork. She hadn't seen Sara all night, and had the feeling that the younger woman was avoiding her. They had only made little progress with talking to the girl, they found out she was named Sian, but until an interrupter arrived, there was little else they could do on that front, and they were still chasing down other leads. A light knock came at her door, and without looking up she called for the person to enter.

Vartann slipped through the door, two cups of coffee in hand, and a smile on his face. He felt bad for the situation Sara had found herself in, but had found himself jealous of the amount of attention Catherine had initially given her, and so was feeling rather relieved now that Sara had left the lab.

'Hey' He greeted, moving to sit on the edge of Catherine's desk 'I bring coffee and kisses' he said leaning over to peck Catherine on the lips.

Catherine smiled slightly into the kiss, before pulling back 'Thanks, although if you could make this paperwork go away, that would be even better!'

Vartann just smiled again, and placed his hand on Catherine's shoulder 'How about a massage?' Catherine rolled her eyes slightly, but smirked 'Always!' – She hadn't told Vartann about what had happened at Sara's the other night, and until the two had talked it out, she didn't plan on it. Strictly speaking, her hormones had prevented anything too much from happening, and she thought it unlikely a similar situation would arise, so didn't see the point in stirring trouble.

Lou rose to stand behind her, rubbing her neck and shoulders gently, and she leant back into his touch, eyes closed, starting to relax a little. After a minute or two, Lou bent down and started to kiss the top of her head, her ear, moving to her neck

'Lou…' Catherine gasped 'Mmm… Lou…' Catherine spun her chair a little, and claimed his lips with her own, hands reaching up behind his neck. They both giggled into the kiss. They hadn't declared their new relationship to anyone yet, it was still undefined to them exactly what they were to one another, but it was a thrill and a risk to be kissing at work. It had been almost a week since they had last spent any time together, and the passion quickly built. Lou was feeling daring, and Catherine was feeling frustrated.

'Door….' Catherine mumbled, pushing him back a little bit 'Already locked' he whispered back. With that, she pulled him close again, hands reaching to the buttons on his shirt, whilst he started playing with her waistband. A phone started ringing, and at first Catherine tried to ignore it, but its persistence put her off a little, so she reached for it, intending to silence it. However, when she saw the caller I.D. her breath caught for entirely different reasons, and she once again pushed Lou back, and answered the call.

At first, she heard nothing, and so slightly panicked, started to speak 'Sara…? Sara where are you…?'

'I'm sorry… I'm sorry…' came Sara's slurred reply

'Sara, it's ok… have you been drinking? Standing Catherine started pacing up and down in her office. A hiccup fall from Sara's lips, confirming Catherine's thoughts.

'Ok Sara, it's ok, tell me where you are..'

'The desert…' Sara whispered

Catherine's breath hitched 'The… the desert… Sara, why are you in the desert? Are you alone, are you hurt?' Catherine was frantic now, her hand running through her hair, she tried not to look at Lou, to see the disappoint in his face, the confusion in his eyes. Placing her hand on his shoulder, she turned on her professional mode, and mouthed to him 'Trace this…'

Lou furrowed his brow, but nodded in understanding, his fingers quickly hitting keys at the computer.

'Not hurt… just drunk…' she giggled a little despite herself 'It was so pretty Catherine… so pretty… like a black widow… dangerous, but pretty… I couldn't help myself…'

'Sara… slow down, what are you talking about honey? What was pretty?' Catherine sat down in her office chair, head in her hands, trying to work out what Sara was talking about, wishing the computer would work faster.

'The car… it was so shinny… just… waiting… I took it… drove it… now I'm here…' she whispered, the alcohol showing even more in her voice.

'What car Sara?' Catherine tried to not let too much anger into her voice, but was struggling at this point.

'I didn't mean to… I was looking for you… it was in the Garage… I wanted you to confiscate it…'

'Confiscate what Sara?' Catherine pleaded, not liking where this conversation was going

'The booze.. I was on my way to the lab, to give it up… Then I saw it… it was so pretty… so pretty… don't be mad…' Sara choked out.

'What was pretty Sara?' Catherine choked out

'The car.. so Red, so shiny, a red mustang… I knew.. I just knew, it was an omen… I took it, drove it to the desert… I don't know where, it doesn't matter where… I'm going for a walk now Catherine, Goodbye.' With that the line went dead.

'Sara? Sara…' Catherine stammered out, before dropping her phone into her lap 'Damn it….' Taking a deep breath, she turned to Lou 'Anything…'

He shook his head slightly 'No… Sorry… I've got it down to a 5 mile area though… what happened?'

'She's taken a car into the desert… she's been drinking… now she's decided to go for a walk… Déjà vu….'

'What do you mean, Déjà vu?' Vartann asked, placing a hand on her knee, trying to offer some support.

'Remember a few years back, the miniature killer? How Sara was taken… trapped under a mustang… escaped, and trekked through the desert… ' Lou nodded slowly 'Well, she's just gone and hired a fucking mustang and driven it into the bloody desert, and has now decided in her infinite drunken wisdom, to go for a fucking walk!' Catherine spat out, her emotions all over the place.

Lou tightened the grip on her leg 'It's ok… we'll find her, we'll find her… Look… I'll get Archie to see if he can triangulate the call a little better, and you and I will grab Brass and Greg, and we will find her, I promise Cat… Ok…'

Catherine just nodded, and wiped a tear away from her face.

Xxx

Sara had been walking for about half an hour now, she hadn't gone too far, but she had lost sight of the car in the darkness. She staggered a little, taking a swig out of the whisky bottle, and then looked up at the stars, and span around giggling. When she started to walk again, she caught sight of a glow in the distance, and realised she was walking back towards the mustang she had left running. She giggled again, took another drink of whiskey, and didn't notice that the landscape was subtly changing around her. Stumbling, she righted herself, before stumbling again a few strides later, her foot having caught on something poking up out of the sand. The next thing she knew, her world was upset down, the now few dregs of whiskey spilling onto her clothes, the wine clattered together, but thank fully didn't smash, and her ankle was ablaze with pain which sobered her up a little bit.

'What a waste!' She mumbled to herself, pulling herself up to a sitting position, she moved to look at what had tripped her up

'Oh shit!' She shouted, shuffling back a bit but not standing.

Xxx

Lou's SUV sped off the road, another following closely behind, just minutes away from where the call had been traced too. The silence in the car was deafening, so they both jumped as Catherine's phone started to ring. As she pulled it out, she breathed a slight sigh of relief

'Sara…' she called out

'Cat… I… I'm sorry for scaring you….' Sara said quietly, staring at a space in the sand a few feet away

'It's ok… just tell me where you are… were nearly at the car sweetie…'

'Oh… do you have a Kit in the truck?' she asked, her voice void of any emotion

'A kit?' Catherine questioned, her mind racing through the possibilities of what that statement could mean

'Yeah… a forensics kit… and a first aid kit…'

'What do you mean Sara, are you hurt, did someone….'

'No!' Sara cut her off 'I'm fine… I… mostly I'm fine… I stumbled, I've twisted my ankle pretty badly… I thought I was walking back towards the car, but I got myself all twisted around… I went the wrong way… I found something out here, out in the desert…'

'Sara?' Catherine questioned 'Sara, you're not making any sense, what did you find?'

'A dead body' Sara declared, voice even and professional, before hanging up.


	9. Chapter 9

'Damn it!' Catherine shouted, once again throwing her phone down. The car slowed to a stop, and Catherine made to jump out of it, but Vartanns hand on her leg stopped her.

'What is it? What happened…' He asked, trying to search for clues in Catherine's eyes.

'….' At first Catherine couldn't speak, her thoughts and emotions once again all over the place '…Umm…' she decided to try and stay professional 'Sara came across a dead body… when she fall over from intoxication… We need to take our kits and cameras….that's all I know…' she managed, whilst twisting herself away, and out of the car, before having to tell Brass and Greg what she knew. Having filled them in, she asked Greg to phone Archie, to see if they couldn't get a more up to date location on Sara's whereabouts.

Unfortunately, the results weren't that much more specific, and so, all four started walking out into the desert, calling out Sara's name.

'Sara…..' The voices mingled together, echoing slightly.

'Sara….' Brass and Greg were scanning the ground, looking for a trial, Vartann was watching Catherine, and Catherine was trying to keep the worry out of her voice. It hadn't been that long ago she had spoken to Sara, and so she knew she wasn't hurt, but that's all she really knew. What exactly did Sara mean by 'A dead body?' An old one, covered in bugs and decay, something Grissom would have enjoyed, a skeleton that would be a challenge to I.D? Someone old, or young, a hiker maybe? A murder victim… Had she found anything else, was anyone else there? Just how much had Sara had to drink? Why had she even been drinking in the first place? How badly had she fallen, was it just her ankle that was hurting? All of these things and more kept running around her head, making her nervous.

'Sara….'

She paused, she could have sworn she heard something, she waited, called again 'Sara…'

'Over here…' came the reply, a little slurred, but definitely Sara.

They all looked around, trying to pinpoint where the noise had come from, and then, a flash 'Over here… follow the light…' Sara called again, having turned on the torch setting on her phone.

Catherine broke out into a run towards the beam of light, and barely slowed down, when she saw Sara sat awkwardly on the floor, arms wrapped around her body, almost protectively, looking out for their approach

'Stop…' she shouted out, and Catherine did, but reluctantly

'Evidence…' Sara added as an explanation, and then Catherine looked down, seeing the disturb sand just in front of her, an almost skeletal hand poking out, along with a fresher hand. Scanning the area, she saw a shovel, and some tyre treads.

'Sara…Sara, what happened?' She asked, cautiously moving around and towards Sara, doing her best not to disturb anything else.

'I tripped… I was lucky though… '

By now Catherine had reached Sara, and had knelt down next to Sara, and had pulled the woman into her arms, holding her closely.

'Lucky how?' She whispered, a hand running through Sara's brown hair, glad to see that Sara seemed ok

'It's a fresh grave… I interrupted the digging… they heard me, didn't see me… drove off… ' Sara mumbled into the embrace. Catherine pulled back slightly, eyes darting over Sara's face, trying to search out the truth, to see if there was more to the story. All she saw through the glassy eyes, further evidence of Sara's drinking, was a look of hurt and confusion. Catherine couldn't take seeing that look in Sara's eyes, and before she knew it, she had leant forwards, and claimed Sara's lips with her own. She needed Sara to know how glad she was that she was ok, that she didn't need to feel hurt, or confused, or alone. That she wasn't angry about the car, or the walk, or even the drinking, but that she was happy nothing worse had happened. At first Sara didn't kiss her back, thoughts of Grissom, their location, stopping her, but it didn't take long for all of the emotions Catherine was trying to show to push through, and she found her arms wrapping around Catherine, pulling the woman in closer.

They both got lost in the embrace, although they still didn't know exactly what this would make them, where it would go, right now, they just needed each other.

'Sara…' Greg called out, a little breathless, having just caught up to them, Vartann and Brass close behind. They pulled away, but not quite quick enough, Greg had seen them kissing. Catherine looked at him, not saying anything, before looking away, towards Vartann. The darkness made his face hard to read, and she had no idea if the two other men had also seen their romantic embrace.

'Sara… Are you ok?' Brass asked, his eyes darting around the scene before him, whilst Vartann stood just staring at Catherine, who daren't look away from him.

Sara nodded slowly, and tried to push herself up from the floor 'Yeah… Yeah… Damn ankle…' she cursed a little, unable to stand 'Anyone bring the first aid kit?' She asked longing down at the floor

'Sure…' Vartann answered, moving his gaze away from Catherine to look at Sara, before walking over to her and crouching down 'May I?' He asked gesturing to her foot, again Sara just nodded.

Whilst he carefully removed her shoe, and wrapped the ankle, Catherine started to take photographs of the scene around them

'So, Sara… What happened?' Brass asked, wanting both to take her statement, and to eliminate the awkward silence that had settled around them.

'Oh… I… I decided to come for a walk…not the best idea I've ever had, but that's what highly strung emotions and alcohol do I suppose…' She let out a small chuckle, running her hands through her hair. 'I thought I was heading back to the car… I lost my footing, tripped… saw this…' she gestured to the two bodies that were half buried in the ground 'I heard an engine… thought it was the Mustang… it wasn't… truck drove off…headed West…' she said pointing in that direction.

'Did they see you?' Vartann asked finishing off the wrapping on Sara's ankle

'I don't know… I don't think so… I barely saw them… I know they heard me though… I cursed when I fall, the last of the whiskey….' She looked down a little embarrassed by this

Vartann squeezed her knee a little, a knowing look on his face, and then he stood up 'All done… think you can stand…' he offered his hand so she could steady herself, which she took gratefully.

'Ok Sara…' Brass asked, taking over again 'Did you happen to see any part of the truck?'

Sara took a few tentative steps 'Ummm…Looked like a jeep…silver…grey maybe… got a partial… OH 48… That's all I saw…'

'Ok… Thanks Sara…' Brass closed his notebook 'Do you want one of us to walk you back to the cars?'

Sara went to shake he head no, but before she could, Vartann spoke up 'Come on, I'll give you a hand' and all she could do was reluctantly accept.

About 40 minutes later, they had reach the car, there going had been slow, and the darkness hadn't helped. Sara was glad to sit down in the comfort of the Denali, the beginnings of a headache beginning to form from the exhaustion, and the alcohol in her system.

'What's going on with you and Catherine?' Vartann asked, he hadn't spoken much at all on the walk over.

'Nothing, she's just been a good friend since… since… the case…' Sara said, unable to refer to her daughter directly.

'So you just hug and embrace all of your friends…'

Sara looked at him, unable to speak for a moment, mouth moving but with no sound coming out

'Look Sara… I know you're going through a rough time, but if you want comfort, go back to Paris… Catherine is my girlfriend, and I don't….'

Sara cut him off 'I don't need Paris, I need to find out who murdered my Daughter!' she spat out, her voice quiet but dripping with rage. Vartann immediately snapped back

'What part of that involves shoving your tongue down Catherine's throat?'

Xxx

A/n – Hope you enjoyed that, please review? Merry Christmas all.


	10. Chapter 10

Sara didn't know how to answer; her mouth had always been getting her into trouble. Now she felt humiliated, the headache was getting worse, and she wanted to be anywhere but here. Slamming the door shut to the car, she sunk into the seat and tried to ignore Vartaan.

Vartann stood outside the car for a moment or two. He felt angry and hurt, but he didn't want Catherine to know that he knew about herself and Sara just yet. Pulling out his phone, he dialled her number.

'Willows'

'Hey Cat, look, I'm gonna drive Sara home ok, she isn't in the right state to work, let alone drive. Could you drive the mustang back to the dealership after you've processed the scene? The sooner I get Sara back, the better…' he tried to keep his voice even, to not give the game away. He succeeded, but still, Catherine felt a little uneasy.

She wouldn't have left Sara alone for a minute if she'd had a choice, but like Lou had pointed out, she had a scene to process.

'Sure, thanks Lou. I'll call you when I'm back at the Lab'

'Bye'

'Bye Lou'

Vartann hung up the phone, and slipped it back into his pocket. Opening the car door, he slid into the driver's seat. Sara tried her best to ignore him; she couldn't bring herself to speak, especially not to him.

'Come on, I'm taking you home… tell me where to take you?' Vartann said, his voice icy. He wanted to scream and shout at the woman next to him, but he also knew that alcohol made people do some very stupid things. He would know. Although he had been sober for 11 years, he hadn't been a saint after a heavy round of drinking.

Still, Sara ignored him.

'Don't be so stupid Sara… tell me where to take you, or I'll drive you to lock up for driving in your state…' he knew however, that Sara had only started drinking after she had stopped driving. It was one of the only things she had said one the slow walk back to the car, but he knew the threat of a night in the cell should shock her into speaking. Instead, Sara leant over, and typed a few words into the SatNav system installed in the car, before pulling her seatbelt on and closing her eyes.

Vartann sighed, but started the car anyway, following the directions on the screen.

Xxxx

Sara had lost track of time, but she was smiling. Her hands fiddling and folding the paper they held, turning one way and then another. Slowly. Deliberately. She was being watched, but no words were needed. She pushed a piece of paper towards the waiting hands, grabbed a new piece herself, and started folding again, this time even slower. The slow, clumsy and small hands copied. Sian.

Sara had punched in the directions to the group home Sian was staying at. She had knocked at the door, wordlessly shown her I.D, and then found the girl. Again, no words were spoken, but her intentions were clear. She was left alone with the girl, and now she was showing the little girl next to her, her granddaughter, how to make origami shapes.

Sian barely understood English, and Sara really didn't want to speak. Her mouth had always caused trouble, one way or another. She either said the wrong thing, or kissed the wrong person. She had never learnt, so now she was. She just simply decided to stop using her mouth, until she could trust it again.

The pair didn't need to talk anyway. They were both happy communicating through the art of paper folding. Sian had someone who wasn't her mother paying attention to her, and Sara could observe the life before her. Her soft brown eyes, the dark hair. The giggles that escaped every now and then. The look of concentration on the young child's face, the pride when she got something right. Hours could have passed, and Sara would have been none the wiser.

The sounds from the rest of the house soon faded into the background. It was only when Sian started to get tired did Sara stop. She pulled the child into her arms, breathing in her scent, feeling her for the first time in her arms. She didn't know why she did it, but she found herself placing a kiss on top of the child's head, before realising her once more. Sian just giggled, before sleepily jumping down, picking flint up in her arms, and then moving to the comfy chair in the corner. She curled up, closed her eyes, and soon drifted to sleep.

Sara placed a blanket over her grand-daughter, and then silently left the room, left the house.

She saw a Denali parked outside. Catherine. She got in the car, but still didn't speak.

'Come on, I'll take you home' Catherine whispered, placing her hand on Sara's knee. Sara jerked back from the touch a little, but Catherine didn't move her hand. She didn't know that Vartann had seen them embracing one another. She just took Sara's silence to be from the overload of emotions, of her actions.

Shortly afterwards, Catherine pulled up outside of Sara's home, and helped the woman out of the car.

'What's wrong Sara?' Catherine asked once they had made it inside. Again, Silence.

'Sara?' Catherine asked, placing her hand on Sara's arm.

The next thing she knew, Sara's lips were over hers, her back pinned against the wall, Sara's hand moving over her body. Caressing, grasping. Groping.

Catherine couldn't help but kiss Sara back, the passion so intense that Catherine's head began to swim. She reached up to run her fingers through the brunette locks, pulling the woman in closer. Sara wrapped her arms around Catherine, lowering them slightly, she pulled her up, Catherine's legs wrapping around Sara's waist. Sara pressed herself closer to the woman beneath her, whilst Catherine's hands ran over every inch of Sara they could reach.

Sara stumbled towards the bedroom, not wanting to let go of Catherine until they had reached the bed. Placing Catherine down gently, Sara crawled over the woman beneath her.

'Are you sure Sara?' Catherine managed to get out between kisses. Her only answer was Sara's hands on her chest, her mouth on her neck, a leg pushing against her core. A moan escaped from Catherine's lips, and she bucked slightly. Her hands reached up, tucking at the fabric of Sara's top, trying to pull it off.

Right now Catherine needed this as badly as Sara did. She was extremely grateful that this time her hormones would not get in the way.

Sara shifted slightly so Catherine could remove the barrier between them. Kneeling back on the bed, she started to tug Catherine's trousers down, wanting, needing, to get to Catherine as soon as possible. Peeling the blonde's trousers off, Sara stood at the foot of the bed, and quickly stripped her clothing off, whilst Catherine did the same from the bed.

They both took a moment to take each other in, eyes taking in what they could see, the hardened nipples, the heavy breathing, the passion. Quickly Sara crawled back onto the bed, pressing her naked body against Catherine's, mouths meeting in passion once more.

Catherine shifted slightly so they were both on their sides, and reached her hand down and between Sara's legs, as Sara moved her own hand. They didn't need to talk, they didn't need words. They could read each other just fine.

They continued to kiss, as their hands each lazily played with the others curls, moving further down into the heat, fingers caressing the folds of the woman before them. Rubbing, curling, exploring.

Together they pushed their fingers inside at the same time, a load moan mingling into their kiss as their fingers moved in almost perfect synchronisation. First one, then two, now three fingers, curling and massaging inside, whilst their thumbs rubbed over each other's clits. Both bucked into each other's hands, hearts racing. They had stopped kissing; they couldn't concentrate on anything but the hand inside them. Foreheads pressed together, the intensity only growing more and more.

Neither woman wanted to climax first, they desperately needed their partner to reach orgasm first, so they tried to supress their build-up of sensation, but found it difficult.

Sara bucked harder into Catherine's hand, whilst moving her own fingers faster and faster, pushing deeper. She moved her head, her mouth finding Catherine's shoulder, biting down, as Catherine's thumb pressed on her clit even more. They didn't want it to end; they just wanted to please each other, over and over if possible. As Sara bit down on Catherine's shoulder, a shudder washed over her, and she was spent, the orgasm one of the most intense she had ever had. Catherine felt Sara tightening around her, and this realsed her own orgasm, which only increased Sara's. It felt as if Sara's pleasure would never end. She squirmed and bucked harder, breathing now so ragged, sweat dripping down her back. As she bucked, her fingers curled even more, and now it was Catherine's turn to feel as if she would never come down from this high. Eventually, spent, the pulled their hands away, but didn't move them far. They kissed again, a little slower this time, before rolling over on to their backs.

'Wow…' Catherine stuttered

Sara only smiled, before rolling over and curling into Catherine's side. Sleep soon came over them both, not caring to move under the warmth of the covers.

Xxx

Sara stirred slightly when she heard movement, but she was far too comfortable to really care or register it. She pulled the body next to her a little closer, the fog around her half asleep state deep. Again, she heard a noise. She breathed in the wonderful scent next to hear, jasmine and the aroma of sex. She smiled a little, remembering what had happened, and then heard the bedroom door open.

That was confusing. How could the door open if Catherine was still wrapped in her arms?

'Sara….' Came a voice, laced with anger and confusion.

Both Sara and Catherine opened their eyes widely, Catherine scared by the noise, Sara only bothered about who was stood in front of her. She really didn't care about her state of nakedness, or Catherine's, but clearly Catherine did, as she tried to pull something over, to cover herself. Sara closed her eyes again.

'Catherine what the hell are you doing in my bed?' the very angry voice spat out

'Grissom….' Catherine said, voice flustered and weak.


	11. Chapter 11

Hodges paced nervously in the reception area of the police station. Through his Credit Card receipts, many phone calls, and the help of the San Francisco Police Department, he had been able to track down the woman whom he had briefly met all those years ago.

Now he was waiting for her to be escorted into the station. It wasn't his job to question or inntergarete, but he felt that Sara was owed this, and if it helped find more answers, he would do what he could. Besides, he didn't particularly want the rest of the crime lab to meet the woman in question. Ray however had decided to accompany him. Hodges felt ok with that, Langston was a good man, and he knew he wouldn't judge him too harshly. A few moments later two police officers walked in with a tall slim woman. Hodges recognised her after all this time, even though she looked awful. Dark rings under her eyes, body to thin. She had clearly only gotten further into the prostituon life, possibly into drugs to. He just hoped that they could trust whatever she may be able to tell them.

'Hi, I'm Ray Langston, this is David Hodges, thanks for coming down here…' Ray said, gesturing his thanks to the officers, and leading the woman to a small side room.

'Penelope Green' the woman said a little nervously, she took a seat 'What's this about? The officers didn't actually tell me much, just said I was needed down here in Vegas… threatened to arrest me for solicitation if I didn't come… I haven't done anything wrong…' She kept looking around, holding her bag tightly.

Hodges cleared his throat, and started to speak 'Umm… Penelope…'

'Penny, Please'

'Penny… do you have a tattoo of the Roman numeral 7 on your side?' He asked, looking directly at her, though for some reason he was a little nervous.

'Yes… Why?'

'Can you show us, please?' he asked, looking away. Being around woman had never been his strong point. He reminded himself once more, that this was for Sara.

'Sure… I guess…' she lifted her shirt slightly 'Why do you want to know about this dumb tattoo anyways?'

'Do you know a 'Sara Sidle?'' Ray asked

Penny nodded, her face flashed with anger slightly 'Yes'

'How?'

'She was involved with my Uncle a long time ago'

'Involved how?' Hodges asked

'They were sleeping together… had a child…'

Ray glanced over at Hodges, and tapped his pen against the desk a few times

'What happened to them, Your Uncle, Sara, the Baby?'

'I don't know… what's this about?'

'Do you know where your Uncle is now?' Ray asked, glancing at Hodges once again. It was clear that he would be leading most of the questions.

'I don't know… we got split up a while ago…' she faltered

'What do you mean 'Split up?' Ray asked, jotting a few things down.

'There was a group of us, we all lived together, we were a community, we were self-sufficient wherever possible, took in people, looked after one another. My Uncle was in charge. Nothing we did was illegal…but I guess looking back, it was questionable… anyway…people came, and went, all was well. Sara came along. My Uncle was smitten… she was smitten… they started to spend more and more time with one another… she became pregnant… she became depressed, and, like most of us… took more and more drugs…. Weed and mushrooms, mostly… not long after having the baby, two tourists came across our community… they must have spoken to Sara…watched her. They stayed a couple of days… a few days passed, and then the police descended on us… split us up. Arrested some of us… some to the hospital… My Uncle was arrested. Sara was taken to a hospital. I don't know what happened to the baby. I didn't care. I was angry. I never liked her… knew she would cause more trouble than she was worth… when she started whoring herself to my Uncle… ' Penny took a deep breath.

'I went and saw him, in the prison…Sara was younger than she said she was, he was arrested because of their relationship… he was angry because his community had been broken up… he'd been obsessive for months… possessive even… demanding. Controlling. Even with me, even with Sara. He pushed drugs on us, gave us all the tattoo, so we would know where we belonged… so yes, he was angry at losing his commune… but mostly he was angry at those tourists for ruining it all, and at Sara for lying… for giving him a child.. for being so needy. If she wasn't following him like a lost little puppy, that bitch was high as a kite, barely looking after her baby, but she wouldn't let us help either… My aunt tried to help, wasn't even mad about the affair…but Sara wasn't having it. My Uncle decided to take back control. I helped him draw up some papers, we had the child adopted. Sara never even knew.'

Penny stopped talking, anger building in her body. She tried to take a few calming breaths.

'What happened next?' Hodges asked, having found his voice

'I don't know… I never saw my Uncle again… he died in prison a few weeks later' she confessed '… someone found out about Sara, killed him for sleeping with someone underage… I don't know what happened to Sara. I don't want to know… she could still be in the hospital for all I know and all I care. As for the baby… I think she went to the UK…but who knows, and who cares?'

Xxx

'I said what are you doing in my bed?' Grissom repeated loudly.

Catherine tried to scramble out of the bed, anger and embarrassment flooding through her. A hand on her shoulder made her stop. Sara didn't want her to leave. Catherine turned to look at Sara, saw the hurt and confusion her eyes. The vulnerability. She sighed 'It's ok Sara…' she whispered, shifting in the bed slightly, pulling a blanket over them both.

'No, it's not ok…' Grissom said, his voice a little quieter, but still laced with anger 'What the hell is going on?'

Sara turned to look at him, but still couldn't bring herself to speak. She knew she was being silly, but she didn't know how else to cope with all that had happened. She closed her eyes for a moment, before signing something with her hands. She couldn't bring herself to talk, but she could use sign language.

'My Daughters Dead' she signed, eyes closed, not wanting to see the look on Grissom's face. Catherine just looked on confused, not knowing what Sara had said.

'Wha…What do you mean?' Grissom choked out

'I mean, my Daughters dead' Sara signed again

'Sara… Sara, talk to me….' Grissom pleaded, falling to his knees next to the bed 'I don't care what happened here…' he gestured between Sara and Catherine, 'But I don't understand what you're telling me… what do you mean your daughter… 'Grissom's mind was racing all over the place 'You had a miscarriage?' he whispered, wondering if that was what she meant. He hadn't even known she was pregnant… why hadn't she told him…

Sara just shook her head no.

'Tell me what you mean then Sara?'

She started to sign again. 'You never once asked about my scar…not the one on my stomach… not once…' Catherine could only watch, not understanding anything, but she rested her hand on Sara's shoulder, even though she currently wished to be anywhere but where she was. She'd gone far behind crossing the line with Sara, and now she had been caught in bed by Grissom. She didn't give Grissom chance to answer or responded to Sara's signing.

'What are you doing here Grissom? Who called you?'

Grissom tore his gaze away from Sara 'No one called me…I came here to surprise Sara… Why… What happened Catherine, what's going on…?'

'It's not my place to say…' Catherine said looking away, back to Sara

'No, but apparently it's your place to fuck my wife!' Grissom shouted, his anger returning

'STOP IT!' Sara screamed 'JUST STOP IT!' and she bolted from the bedroom, slamming and locking the bathroom door behind her.

Xxxx

Ray took in a deep breath, placed the pen on the table, and started to talk as calmly as he could 'Sara Sidle is a much loved, trusted, and valuable person to this crime lab… she is one of the top investigators in the country, and her daughter has been murdered. If you know anything, anything at all, about who adopted her, or where she ended up, you best tell us, or you'll find yourself in jail for prostitution, solicitation, drug abuse, and as an accessory before and after the fact in child trafficking. We'll be back in an hour to hear what you have to tell us' With that he stood up, and walked out, gesturing for Hodges to follow him.

Xxx

'Catherine, please, just tell me what's going on…' he walked to the wardrobe, pulled out a gown, and threw it at her.

'It's complicated' she stated, pulling the gown on.

'Everything's complicated until it's not' he stated, sitting down on the bed. Neither said anything for a while.

'Why did you sleep with her?' he whispered.

Catherine didn't answer. She didn't know how. She tried to formulate a sentence, an explanation but found she couldn't.

Sara stepped out of the bathroom, and sat on the bed next to Grissom. She took his hand, and although he first tried to move it, he didn't. Catherine made to leave the room.

'Stay… Cat, please, stay…' Sara whispered.

'I can't' Catherine whispered back

'Please…' Sara pleaded. Catherine nodded, and slid down on the floor, her back to the wall, watching Sara and Grissom sat on the edge of the bed. Sara squeezed his hand tighter, took a deep breath, and began to tell her story.

'I became a Mother 20 years ago' Grissom tried to interrupt, but another squeeze of his hand kept him quiet. 'When she, Sophie, was a few weeks old, she was taken from me. I never saw her again. About a week ago, there was a murder at one of the motels… It was Sophie… I didn't even know she was here… I'd never looked… her daughter, my granddaughter, Sian, called it in. They'd evidentially spent some time in the UK… In Wales. The Guys have been trying to help me find out what happened. I don't know exactly what they've found out yet… I know they've uncovered some of my past demons, so to say… They had to, to find out what happened… It really is complicated Gil…'

Grissom didn't say anything. He didn't know where to start.

'Why didn't you tell me? We could have looked together?' he asked at last, reaching his hand up to Sara's face

'I never told anyone… I didn't want anyone to know… I tried to put it behind me… I failed as a Mother; I didn't think I deserved the chance to try again, not with Sophie… not with anyone. Back then… Back then, I was in a bad place…' She moved her face away from his hand, and looked over to Catherine, who was sat looking at the floor.

'I'm sorry you didn't feel you could tell me…' Grissom said, shifting a little

'You're an investigator Gil; you've seen me naked a million times. You've seen my body, seen my scars. You never once asked. Not once. Not about the C-Section scar, not about this damned vii tattoo, not about my reluctance with children… nothing… '

'I'm sorry…'

Sara just shrugged 'I have a lot of secrets Gil, I wanted to tell you some of them, but you would always do, or say something to stop me… remember that case, with the boxer, he had a half dozen COD's before Doc could pinpoint it…'

'Yeah, I remember' he said, smiling a little. It had been a very trying case.

Catherine shifted a little, uncomfortable on the floor, uncomfortable listening to Sara explain things to Grissom. All she wanted to do was get up and leave. She was beginning to slightly regret sleeping with Sara, even if at the time it had been the most wonderful thing in the world.

'Do you remember what I asked you, about paying for sex?'

He nodded 'I said sex without love is meaningless and bleak.'

Sara squeezed his hand a little 'I never used to believe that. I used to have a drug problem Griss… on several occasions in my past, I sold my body, I turned tricks Gil, to get money, to get high. People paid me to have sex with them. You made me see how much better life could be when you only slept with someone whom you had feelings for. Someone you trusted, could love. I agree, sex without feeling…without…love… is bleak. Do you understand that Gil? Do you understand what I'm saying?' She asked, all the while just looking at Catherine, who was now looking back.

Grissom shook his head no

'I love you Grissom, I really do… but I have feelings for Catherine… I have for a while now… she's been there for me when no one else has.' She smiled weakly, never breaking eye contact with the woman sat on the floor in front of her.

'I think I'm falling….'

Xxx

Hey! Hope you enjoyed the update! Review if you can, Emz.


	12. Chapter 12

'I think I'm falling…'

'Don't Sara…Please don't' Grissom whispered, squeezing her hand tightly 'please don't' he repeated

She turned her head to look at him 'Don't what? Talk about my feelings?' she ripped her hand away and stood up 'Catherine has been here for me Gil, I've been able to talk to her, where the hell have you been? This wasn't just some drunken fuck…' She screamed out, and faltered slightly. She wasn't supposed to be drinking.

'You were drinking? God Sara, are you stupid? You promised!' Gil shouted, standing up

'I promised? I promised?' Sara Screamed 'You promised Gil, you promised you wouldn't ever leave me, but you're in France Gil, you're never home!' Sara started pacing, and all Catherine could do was watch from where she was sitting on the floor. The regret was so thick, it was beginning to make her feel sick.

'That doesn't change the fact you shouldn't be drinking Sara' Grissom said after a brief silence, sinking back down on the bed.

'Oh I'm sorry!' she snapped, voice laced with sarcasm 'Next time I find my Daughter lying on a slab in the morgue I'll do my best not to have a psychotic breakdown, I'll try not to run, I'll try not to kiss someone else, next time I have to expose my past I'll do it with my head held high, I won't drive out into the desert in a red mustang, I won't drink myself stupid, I won't come across an active body dump, I won't go and see my granddaughter, and I certainly won't fuck someone without your permission, no, I'll just smile and laugh, and wait for you to decide when I can see you. Even better, you don't want me to drink, fine, how about I don't eat either!' Sara was screaming now, pacing up and down. All she could see was red.

Sara was screaming, Catherine was crying, and Grissom sat there not knowing what to do.

Just as Sara screamed out she was going to stop eating, a door slammed. Sara spun round.

Catherine had gone. Sara quickly followed, not really caring at all about how Grissom might be feeling at the moment.

'Cat…Cat wait…' Sara called out

Catherine spun around 'No Sara, this was a mistake, I won't be someone's bit on the side, I won't be someone you can fuck and fuck over just because you've been through some shit, newsflash Sara, everyone goes through bad times. You can't just use me, go back to your Husband Sara!' she turned and walked off again.

'I wasn't using you' Sara called after her, trying not to cry. Catherine stopped again, but didn't turn around.

'I wasn't using you' Sara repeated, her voice a little quieter 'You've helped me through so much Catherine, even before I left Vegas for the first time…I nearly told you about Sophie years back… the carnival case… Sandy Dantini….I tried to tell you so many times… And lately, talking to you, or Ecklie, mostly you, about where I am, how I'm feeling…all of it… You've kept me grounded. I hate not getting those talks with you… I'm glad you were there that day… that you bought me home, that I woke up in your arms… that I kissed you…All of it Cat… I've had feelings for you for a while, please believe me… '

Catherine turned slightly, but didn't speak.

'It's not like last time….'

Catherine shook her head slightly 'Don't' she whispered

'Don't what? Finally admit what we both know, that we slept together that night you took me for a drink after Hank? That we got so drunk we had sex in the back of the cab because we were to drunk and desperate to wait? So we never made it in to a bed, we never talked about it, but that doesn't mean it never happened Cat, it did, it happened then, and it happened last night.' Sara took a step closer to Catherine, reaching out her arm, hoping that Catherine would take her hand

'The only difference now is that we weren't drunk, I'd sobered up long ago, and I have feelings for you Cat, I really really do…'

Cat reached her hand out, and lightly tangled her fingers in Sara's, before closing her eyes, sighing and pulling away again. Turning she walked away.

Sara sighed and slumped to the floor, waiting to hear the front door opening and closing. She heard nothing.

Catherine had realised she was in nothing but a robe, her clothes scattered over the room that Grissom was in. She didn't know what would be worse, leaving in what she was wearing, or returning to the room to get her belongings. She sat at the breakfast bar, deep in thought, thinking over everything Sara had confessed through the screaming.

Grissom sat on the bed, he'd heard the conversation through the door way, and now felt even more hurt. Sara had already slept with Catherine, and once again, alcohol had been to blame. Drinking had gotten Sara in to trouble in the past, they both knew that. He was angry that she didn't seem to learn, and that she had broken her promise and nearly 2 and a half years of being teetotal. When she did 'drink' it was non-alcoholic stuff. He was upset and felt hurt that he had never known so many things about Sara. He was questioning everything he knew, how much of it was the whole truth, how much was lies or omission of the truth. He knew they'd always had a strained relationship, even more so of late, but he had never once imagined any of what had just happened.

He didn't want to lose Sara, but he didn't know how to deal with any of it either. Looking around, he saw the clothes on the floor, and gathering them up, he left the room.

Sara was still sat on the floor in the hall way, he paused by her, passing her clothes over, and then walked through to the kitchen, and handed the rest of the clothes to Catherine. He walked over to the couch, and waited.

About ten minutes later, both women joined him, once again dressed. No one said anything for a while.

'What do you know about the Murder?' Grissom asked, his voice and manner strictly professional

'Oh…' Sara paused for a moment, not expecting this 'Oh…'

Catherine took over 'She died from a severe beating a few days prior, which had caused internal bleeding. We don't know where it happened. We know she came from Wales, that she was beaten on more than one occasion, and had a baby around the age of 15. We know she was Sara's daughter. We know that she was forcibly adopted, but we haven't got any further details on that yet. The team are trying to look into it. I don't know yet what they've found.' Catherine looked up and smiled weakly at Sara before looking away again.

Grissom just nodded 'Ok…They're looking into your past for answers?' Grissom asked looking over to Sara. She just nodded.

'You know what they're going to find out…'

Sara just nodded again.

'Are you prepared for this?'

'I have to be, for Sophie's and Sian's sake, I have to be'

'Does Sian know who you are?' He asked

'No, not yet' Sara admitted 'We don't know if she was any family elsewhere… We are having trouble tracking them down. Little girl barely speaks English… she knows Welsh…'

'Oh, have you got an interrupter?' Grissom asked, looking between the two

'No… we can't find one. This is America for Christ sake, it's all Spanish and things…. '

'I know someone' Grissom said standing up, and headed to the bookshelf 'Honey, where is my address book?' he asked, not noticing the term of endearment he had used.

'Oh…I don't know…' Sara stood, and walked towards him, placing her hand on his back for a moment 'I think it's with your banking paperwork…'

'Thanks' he turned and placed a light kiss on her forehead before walking off to find the information he was after.

Sara moved and sat next to Catherine, who had seen the exchange, but chose not to say anything about it just yet. Everything was in such a muddle at the moment.

'I'm glad you didn't leave' Sara confessed in a whisper, slumping back into the chair.

Catherine just smiled, and took her hand.

'I meant it… you know' Sara added in an even quieter voice

'I know'

'What are we going to do?' Sara asked turning slightly

'We are going to concentrate on finding out who did this to your family… then, who knows. I don't want to come between you and Grissom, but we can talk about this later, ok?' Catherine smiled, her hand gently caressing Sara's. She leant forward and placed a light kiss on Sara's cheek before pulling away again.

Xxx

Hope that read well….thanks for reading. Emz.


	13. Chapter 13

Grissom came back a few minutes later, book and phone in hand, and dialled a number, waiting for the line to be answered 'Helo' he said, his voice taking on a slight, but bad, Welsh accent 'ydyw Grissom….' Grissom continued to talk, but had now reverted back to English, knowing only very basic Welsh 'Huw, I need a favour please.' He waited for the response 'Could you come to Vegas please? My Wife…' 'Yes…Yes a few years now… her names Sara… Thank you…' he cleared his throat, aware of the other people in the room 'So, this favour, Sara, her… someone she knows is in trouble, we need an interrupter… It's a bit too complicated to explain over the phone…. Sure… Sure….Yeah, a murder case… … Girls only 5, we really need to find a way to communicate with her, Sara really needs find out a way to communicate with her….' Grissom paused again, and sighed 'The girl is family…Granddaughter… No, no, not mine…Like I said, it's complicated…Sure…How soon can you get here…That's great…send me the bill…. Diolch… Diolch, Hywl…' He hung up the phone, and then turned slowly to look at Catherine and Sara, who were sat holding hands, Sara's head resting on Catherine's shoulder.

'You speak Welsh now?' Catherine questioned

'No, I know about 20 basic sentences… Huw Jones is one of the top entomologists in the UK, I've known him since my college days. He's in Toronto right now, just wrapping up a lecture, he'll be on a flight this evening.' He sat down slowly, tilting his head looking at Sara, trying to formulate a sentence. Sara just turned her head into Catherine's shoulder more, and closed her eyes, but she did mumble out a thank you, and then curled her legs up underneath her.

'Sara…' he said softly 'We need to talk about this…'

Sara just gripped on to Catherine's hand tighter, wanting to avoid all of the confrontation and fallout from her latest actions. 'I don't want to talk, I want this all to go away'

'It won't just go away Sara, what you've done won't just go away…' Grissom paused 'I…I guess I understand how… how this happened…' he motioned weakly between Catherine and Sara 'But what I don't understand is why you drank…you were doing so well….I don't understand it…'

'Of course you don't understand, you've never had people stare at you…I just want to go back to bed…' She pulled herself out of Catherine's arms and stood up, walking towards the bedroom.

'Sara wait….' Grissom called out, whilst Catherine stayed sat on the sofa unsure what to do

'I want you to leave Grissom…I need you to leave. I wish you hadn't come' Sara choked out, her voice weak, as she slammed the bedroom door shut.

Xxx

Ray had followed Hodges back into the room, wanting to see what Penny could tell them now that she'd had some time to write out her statement and further details about what had happened 20 years ago. Then they had spoken to Nick about what they had found out, and he had shared briefly what he had found out since obtaining the new files about Sara's hospital stay. It had been an awkward conversation, but a needed one.

From a logistical point of view, it would have been better if everybody had known everything about the case. It would have helped them piece together the puzzle surrounding the whole case, but because the victim was related to someone they knew, because it was Sara's past they were looking into, they all felt a little reluctant to share too much. They all knew Sara to be a very private person, they all understood why she had kept it secret for so long, and could only guess at how she must now be feeling, not only having just one or two people know one of her darkest secrets, but the whole team, and then some.

Nick had kept as much information back as possible, and wouldn't let anyone else look at the files, and he would keep it that way for as long as possible, and Ray and Hodges had kept most of Penny's horrible comments and opinions to themselves. So far nobody had been able to update Catherine or Sara on their findings, all they'd heard was that Catherine was with Vartann, Greg and Brass on their way to the desert, and only Archie knew why, but he wasn't saying. They knew however, it was something to do with Sara.

Penny informed them about the hospital they had been taken too, and how someone called Francis Young had orchestrated the adoption and movement of the baby, along with the help of the Sisters at the hospital. The sisters had known all along that the baby was gone, but never said anything. They also knew Sara wasn't as ill as they'd made her out to be, something which Nick found out for himself whilst reading through the reports. It had made him angry that Sara could have been made to go through what she had, especially after what she had gone through in the years leading up to her Father's death, and they day he had died.

Nick resolved to speak to her as soon as he could. As soon as he could find the right words. For now all he could do was to continue reading through the files. Ray was tracking down the lead about Francis Young, and Nick wanted to look more into the operation at the hospital and Sara's treatment there. It seemed as if she was the one person who had been kept there the longest.

It seemed personal that she had been kept for so long. It broke his heart.

_Sara unsettled and uncooperative, coming down from drug induced high, screaming for Twig and Baby, very agitated and upset. Won't listen to reason, and won't accept that she is now safer without Twig around her. Won't answer questions about her previous environment to either Drs or police. Sedated after screaming for nearly 3 hours and not calming down. Restraint for own, and nurses safety. Been with us for half a day. Very unstable._

_Sara very quiet and subdued, refusing to eat, only communicates if Twig mentioned, defending his actions, and stating how much she loves and misses him. When asked if he'd ever been inappropriate with her, she started to scream, claiming they loved each other very much and how he had never hurt her. Claims no man ever has – clearly delusional, as prior history of abuse by Father. Nearing 3 days without eating, so feeding tube forced. Been with is for 5 days._

_Sara very erratic, unused to going to long without drugs. Small dose of Xanax given to calm nerves._

_Sara very emotional and distressed again, once again claiming that it was wrong she had been separated from Twig and Daughter, and how they were in Love with one another. Refusing to realise that she had been manipulated into a relationship and into drug use. Experimented with placing a few magic mushrooms in small amount of food given. Mood soon changed for the better, though still very quiet. Been at hospital for 11 days now. _

Nick read more and more, his anger building. He looked at the clock, realising nearly 5 hours had passed, and went to find Catherine.

'Hey Greg…'

'Oh, Hey Nick' Greg sighed, leaning on the coffee table in the break room

'What's up? What happened, heard you went out to the desert… Archie said…'

Greg sighed, and put his hand up, stopping Nick from talking 'It's been one hell of a day… Let's just say I have 2 DB's to process, a car to track down, and a couple of pissed off Detectives'

'What's that supposed to mean?' Nick asked taking a seat 'And where's Catherine?' he added

Greg slumped forward, resting his head on the table 'Sara drove into the desert, started drinking… came across an active body dump… Brass, Vartann, Catherine and I then had to go find Sara, who, by the way, went out into the desert in none other than a Red Mustang! Sara was so pissed, she literally fall over the dead bodies. Catherine and I processed the scene, and Vartann drove Sara home…That was about… 7 hours ago I guess… Catherine said she would go and make sure Sara was ok… you know, since there all pally and stuff these days…' Greg rolled his eyes, knowing there was much more going on between them now, but unable to say anything 'That was about…an hour ago I guess… I'd leave them alone for a few more hours….' He lifted his head up from the table 'What have you found? Anything useful?'

Nick just nodded, trying to take everything in 'Ummm… Yeah… Yeah, we got some names to look into, about this whole adoption thing… still don't know WHO adopted the baby, but we are starting to know who got the ball rolling, so to speak… '

Greg nodded 'Good… that's good…' He rested his head back on the table again 'I'm just gonna rest for 10 minutes before I get back to work…'

'Want a hand?' Nick asked, pouring himself a coffee 'To be honest, I could really do with a break from reading those files, and I'm waiting for background on those names anyway'

'Please' Greg mumbled.

Xxx

Grissom wiped at his eyes, tears had escaped. He hadn't cried in such a long time. He turned and walked back towards Catherine, and grabbed his coat

'I hope you keep her happy Catherine… don't mess up like I did. I guess I'm going to go stay at a Hotel for a few days… I'll ring you when Huw is here…' and with that he walked out of the house, hoping, just hoping, that in a few days this would all blow over and Sara would let him back into her life, back into her bed.

Catherine contemplated his words for a moment, her mind once again going over everything that had happened, over her relationship with Lou, the passion she had shared with Sara. Her words that first night on the sofa. How upset she had been that her period had gotten in the way of intimacy, of how much she had wanted Sara, needed Sara.

Standing, she walked towards the bedroom, slipping off her clothes as she went. She knocked gently, but didn't wait for an answer before stepping into the room.

Sara was sat on the edge of the bed, fresh tears on her face. Catherine slowly approached her, and kneelt down on the floor in her underwear before her

'I never forgot, that night, in the taxi, I never forgot, not really…' she placed her hands on Sara's knees 'I just…I thought it was a dream, at first… when I realised it wasn't, I thought perhaps you regretted it, or forgot it, but I didn't. I know what happened, why it happened… why it didn't happen again, until last night.' Catherine spoke gently, her one hand now moving up and down Sara's side, whilst the other reached for her face 'Sara… Sara look at me…'

She waited, until Brown eyes met Blue

'I'm sorry I made you think I forgot, and I'm sorry that I left the taxi without a word afterwards…I can't explain why I did, and why I did makes no matter now, it was so long ago…but you need to know, I never forgot, and I would do it again Sara, every time, I would be with you again, back then, last night… now…' and with that, she once again bought her lips to Sara's.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N – Hey Folks! So… Just a warning, this chapter gets very dark, very mature… goes into the background of the night Sara's father died…

Xxxx

Sara tried to resist at first, trying to push Catherine back, she mumbled against her lips 'Please don't…' but her hands found themselves on Catherine's shoulders, neither pushing the older woman away, or pulling her closer 'I'm sorry' Catherine mumbled, kissing Sara again, before moving and resting her forehead against Sara's.

'Don't do this Cat…' Sara whispered, her fingers moving lightly over the back of her neck 'I've been through too much…'

'I know' Catherine said gently, her hand on Sara's face, she leant in and kissed her gently again 'Come on, let's go to bed, get some sleep. I don't want to leave you alone right now Sara…'

Sara moved her head slightly and sighed, dropping her hands 'I should be with Gil, Cat, and you need to be with Lou….I'm…I'm sorry…he saw us….'

'I know Sara…I was here when we woke up'

Sara shook her head more, and shuffled back on the bed away from Catherine 'Not Gil…Lou…'

Catherine's face fall, and she was momentarily at a loss for words. 'Oh….in the desert?'

Sara just nodded, rubbing at her eyes as she moved to pull the covers over her body, her back against the headboard.

'What did he say?' she asked at last 'He screamed at me, wondering what part of this case meant I had to find comfort with you…but he wasn't as…nice… as that… you know, I half believed he had actually phoned Grissom… Gil isn't normally one for such, surprise visits, not so soon…doesn't matter though does it…I've thrown my marriage away, and I've ruined what you had with Lou… I'm so sorry Cat, I'm really really sorry… ' Sara wiped at her eyes more, her body sliding further down the bed. 'Perhaps you should go… fix it, if you can…'

'I don't want to go Sara… if I wanted to go, I would have gone before we even fall asleep… I wouldn't have been waiting outside the group home… I told you the other day, I wanted to cross that line with you. Please don't throw me out' Catherine said, leaning over Sara who was now lying in the bed, silent tears falling from her eyes. Sara could only nod, once again unable to find her words.

'Come on, let's get you in something a bit more comfortable, and then get some sleep… Huw will be here later, and you need to rest Sara….'

Sara just nodded again, and sat up in the bed, removing her clothes, before lying back down.

Catherine slipped into the bed behind her, and wrapped her arms around Sara, rubbing her hand gently across Sara's chest, soothing the woman in her arms.

Xxx

Sometime later, still in each other's embrace, the two woman woke up to a knocking at the door. Sara opened her eyes slowly, but tightened her hold on Catherine. The older woman placed a kiss on the brunette's head 'You know, they're not going to leave until you answer it…'

'I know…but I'm really not up for seeing anyone right now…'

'What if it's about…' Catherine paused, not willing to mention Sophie or Sian by name right now.

'It won't be… they would have rang if it was… ' Sara mumbled, pulling Catherine even closer

'How do you know?' Catherine asked trying to twist in the embrace

'I just do…'

The knocking continued, and then stopped for a moment, before the phone started ringing.

Catherine stretched and reached over to grab Sara's cell phone 'Nick' she said, passing the phone to Sara.

'I don't want to talk to him'

Catherine frowned 'Why not?'

'It's…it's complicated…'

Catherine just sighed, and then answered Sara's phone for her, sitting up in bed 'Hey Nick'

'Catherine?'

'Yep, hello to you too'

'Sorry… I just, I phoned Sara…'

'I know, she… she can't come to the phone right now…' Catherine looked over to see Sara crying once more, but she didn't know why.

'Has something happened?' Nick asked, his voice thick with concern

Catherine let out a cross between a snort and a laugh at that 'Let's just say it's been a hell of a week…'

'What happened in the desert? Greg didn't explain it very well…'

Catherine just sighed 'You're not gonna leave the front door until you have answers are you?' Catherine said, her hand running through her hair

'No, I won't…Look… I just, I really want to speak to Sara…'

Catherine looked at Sara again 'She doesn't want to talk Nick… You'll have to make do with me, give me a minute…' with that she hung up the phone, and leant over and placed another kiss on Sara's head 'Sara…you have to talk to him eventually…'

She stood, pulled on a robe, and left the room, gathering her clothes as she went. It was about 5 minutes later when she answered the door.

'Hey Nick, come in…'

'Thanks… How is she?' Nick asked, hoping he might now have a different answer, even if only a few minutes had really passed.

'I don't know Nick… she's taking this a lot harder than I thought she would… I know none of it is easy to deal with…but, I don't know… there's something else going on… she drank, a lot… '

'Oh…'

'She hadn't drank in so long….' Catherine sat on the sofa, and Nick took a seat opposite her

'I had a beer with her just the other week….' Nick said a little confused

'Alcohol-free… she'd been sober for nearly 2 and ½ years… Something happened that set her off… she rang me… said she was on her way in, to give me all of the booze she had…on her way, she saw a Red Mustang… hired it out, drove out to the desert… started to drink… you heard about the body dump?' She asked

'Yeah… Greg told me about that, but didn't say much else really… he's working on tracking the vehicle based on the partial plate Sara saw… so, what set her off drinking then, if she'd done so long without…' Before Nick could say anything else, they heard a noise behind them

'You Nick…' Sara said, her arms wrapped tightly around her body, wearing a dressing gown 'It was you Nick….'

Catherine stood and made her way over to Sara, slowly reaching a hand out to her, not wanting to reach out to soon. It wasn't very clear how receptive Sara would be to her touch right now, especially with Nick sat in the room.

'I… I don't understand…' Nick said standing up 'Sara…'

Sara's head fall down, her eyes staring at the floor, but she did slowly reach out to take Catherine's hand. 'He read the file Cat….'

Catherine and Nick looked at one another, 'I know… you know that sweetie… he had too…'

'But he thinks he knows something about me… he looks at me differently… he's judging me and pitying me about something he doesn't understand…I can't stand the looks… I can't stand it Cat!' Sara screamed out, getting louder and louder and more hysterical now.

'Sara…' Nick said, guilt washing over him. It was true, he was looking at her a little differently now, but it hadn't been intentional. Catherine just pulled Sara too her once more, hoping to soothe her. She now carried a sedative laced needle with her, curtsey of Doc Robbins, and she hoped she wouldn't have to use it 'Shhh…. Sara… Shh…' she held her closely, although Sara tried to struggle against her.

'I'm sorry Sara…' Nick choked out, his legs feeling weak, he sat down again

'You don't even know what you're sorry for' Sara whispered, finally pushing herself away from Catherine.

'So why don't you tell me' Nick said, his voice gentle, making eye contact with Sara for the first time.

Catherine placed her hand on Sara's lower back, and gently guided her to the sofa 'Sara, Nicks right, you need to talk to us…. Why did you turn to drinking?'

'I told you… Nick looks at me differently, but he's wrong…' Sara pulled her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them.

'Then tell me Sara, what am I wrong about?' Nick asked, leaning forward in his chair. Catherine remained standing, looking between the two.

'My Dad…' Sara whispered.

Nick ran his hand through his hair, his anger rising. 'He was no Dad…'

'You never knew him!' Sara spat out 'You don't know what happened!'

Nick clenched his fists together, doing his best not to shout back, and still all Catherine could do was watch. After a moment, Nick found his voice 'Sara… I saw the medical files… I know what your childhood was like…'

'You have no idea Nick….' Sara said, wiping away yet another tear

'I know how you ended up in Foster Care…' he said, his voice as gentle as it could be.

'No you don't' Sara whispered, her voice so quiet it almost wasn't heard, as she moved so she was lying on the sofa. Catherine finally moved to sit on the sofa, pulling Sara's head into her lap, her fingers running through her hair. Sara twisted around, so she was facing Catherine's stomach.

No one said anything for some time, and it seemed as if Sara had fallen asleep, so Catherine and Nick jumped a little when Sara began to speak.

'My parents used to beat me… my Father used to beat my Mother… My Mother drank, my Father was Bipolar… It wasn't a happy child hood. I spent a lot of time in and out of hospital… It was both a secret, and not a secret… if people knew, no one did anything to stop it… no one really noticed a pattern… Where I lived, people were scared of my Father, which is why no one said anything… I loved my Father. I loved him more than my Mother, because when he had a good day, he had a really good day, were as my Mother was awful most of the time… still, I knew no better, and thought everyone lived the way I did… Eventually, I got used to the looks at the hospital, at school… I could just about take them… But the night my Father died… The looks changed….people stared at me, judged me, pitied me… but they were looking for all the wrong reasons… No one believed me… No one's ever believed me about what happened that night…. Those looks hurt me the most, because people were looking at me, feeling sorry for me, about something that never ever happened…Things got twisted…I think I lost my virginity that night, but I didn't really understand it, at the time…'

Nick couldn't take it anymore, he had to say something 'You did Sara…Your Father…'

'Lies…' Sara choked out

'Sara, I read the report, I know what happened…'

'No you don't Nick… It was worse than that…'

'Worse than being raped by your own Father?' Nick almost screamed

'He didn't rape me' Sara choked out, again her voice so quiet, it was almost missed.

Catherine's hand paused in their movements 'Sara?' she looked up to Nick, could see the tears in his eyes 'Sara…' she repeated. Sara's body began shaking, her sobs becoming more and more intense.

'It wasn't my Father… he was trying to protect me….' Sara managed to get out.

'Then who?' Catherine asked, a dread washing over her.

'My Mother…. My Mother raped me…' Sara pushed away from Catherine once again, and twisted around, but before she could get far she was sick.

'Oh Sara….' Nick and Catherine whispered.

Sara heaved a couple more times, but wasn't sick again. She inched away from the vomit on the floor, and leant back against the sofa, eyes closed, head once again resting on her knees. The silence that fall over the room was thick and heavy. No one wanted to break it.

'I'm sorry Sara…I'm sorry no one believed you…' Nick said at last

'It's Ok Nick…It's not your fault… I thought I'd dealt with it, like everything else… Guess I was wrong…You want to know how it happened?' she asked.

Catherine and Nick looked at one another, they didn't want to invade on Sara's privacy anymore, but they also realised that perhaps Sara needed to speak about this at long last.

'Only if you want to tell us' Catherine said gently, moving to sit on the floor next to Sara 'I care about you Sara, I don't want to see you hurting…'

'Thanks…' Sara mumbled into her knees, after another long silence, Sara began to speak once again.

'I'd started my period a few months before, I'd been using sanitary towels, but found them…uncomfortable, off putting… I saw that Mother used tampons… I asked her about them one day. She said she'd explain how they worked, you know… show me… I was a little confused about…well, how they worked and stuff… where they went… so she showed me… except instead of…of…' Sara bite back to urge to be sick again 'She stripped me, her hands running over my body, as she calmly explained the changes my body would be going through… she wouldn't stop touching my body… then she threw me on the bed, the tampons forgotten… she pushed….' Sara choked on her words, but forced herself to carry on 'She pushed my legs apart, placed her hand there… it felt funny… tingly almost, but it made my skin itch, and I was scared… then I felt this, burning, intense pain… I didn't understand what it was… she was talking to me, the whole time, explained how a man would place his penis where her fingers now were… an interactive story all about the birds and the bees… she was so… calm…I was scared, but I didn't really, fully, realise that anything was wrong. She told me the first time with a man would hurt, and she was preparing me for adulthood… after a while, I don't know… she got bored of talking, bored of educating me, but she did… enjoy it…I don't… I didn't really realise at the time… she stopped talking, bought her head down, kissed my chest, my stomach, she just kept kissing my skin… then her head was between my legs….' Sara lurched to the side and was sick again. 'She kept kissing me… there… between my legs…he arms pinning me to the bed… I didn't understand… I never really understood…I don't know how long we were there for… I heard Father return, he was in the kitchen… must have started to cook. Sometime later he came looking for us… he found us, in my bedroom, in my bed…I….I…by now, my Mum's hand was back between my legs… she was kissing me now… I mean, really kissing me…I kissed her back… I thought it was the right thing to do… my hands were now exploring too…' Sara began shaking even more 'My Dad was so so angry… he pulled my mother off of me, started screaming… he must have had the knife with him, they were fighting… the next few minutes are a blur, the next thing I knew was my Dad was lying on the floor bleeding, and my Mum stabbed him again and again… there was cast-off, everywhere, the walls, the floor… me… after he stopped moving, my Mum calmly stripped him, all the while talking to me, telling me she had been protecting me, that he was dead because he had raped me, that she had caught him… she was trying to coach me, to side with her…. I was so confused…. I…God, I hate to say it, but back then…before I knew it for what it was… I enjoyed it, after a while… once I was used to her touch… I didn't understand why she wanted me to lie about… I told the officer who came what really happened… she didn't believe me… told me I was wrong, that it was evident that it had been my Dad in my bed, that he had been killed because my Mum was trying to protect me… the reality is, he was killed because he was trying to protect me from my Mother… ' Sara curled up on the floor, her body shaking violently now, whilst Catherine and Nick had to swallow back the bile that was rising within them.

'I wish I could forget…I just want to sleep….'

'Oh Sara…I'm so so sorry… I'm so sorry…..' Catherine whispered, the tears flowing.

Nick walked over, and kneelt down 'Come on…let's get you to bed… can you stand?'

Sara just shook her head no, she didn't want to move.

'Can I carry you?' Nick said, slowly placing his hand on her shoulder, and was a little relieved when she nodded her head yes. He scooped her up in his arms, and carried her through to the bedroom, whilst Catherine followed behind, making a quick detour to grab a wet washcloth to wipe around Sara's mouth.

Nick placed her in the middle of the bed 'Do you want us to stay?' he asked, brushing the hair from Sara's face

'I just want to forget' she repeated

'I know… I know you do…' he placed a kiss on the top of her head, and then silently walked out of the room, and out of the house without another word.

Xxxx

Sorry again for such a dark twist…Things will pick up again soon, such as Huw arriving, talking to Sian, progress on the case… thanks for reading. Review if you can, even if it's negative feedback. Emz.


	15. Chapter 15

Catherine gently wiped the wet washcloth over Sara's mouth and face, pulling the covers up around Sara's body, she could see that Sara was exhausted, she had gone through so much in such a short amount of time, and the revelation of her deep and dark secret had exhausted her. It didn't take long for Sara to fall asleep. Grabbing a chair and a blanket, Catherine settled into watch over her, wanting to stay close but not wanting to crowd her by joining Sara in the bed.

Flashes of what Sara had told them floated through her head, and each one made her shiver, so she could barely imagine just how hard it had been for Sara back then, let alone now retelling the story of the night her Father had died. A few times Sara rolled over in her sleep, but she didn't really wake up for about 2 hours. In that time Catherine couldn't help but think of all the bad things she had said to Sara over the years, whilst trying to remember if there was ever anything Sara had said or done that meant she could have pieced the pieces of the puzzle together before it had gotten to this point. She came up with nothing.

Rolling over once more, Sara slowly opened her eyes 'It wasn't a dream, was it?' she couldn't keep eye contact with Catherine, covering her eyes with her hands, she began to cry again

'No sweetie… I'm sorry…' Catherine leant forward, inching closer to Sara

'Do you hate me?' Sara whispered

'No, never…' Catherine stood up, kneeling down on the floor in front of Sara 'Can I join you?'

Sara nodded, shifting slightly to make room for Catherine to join her in the bed, neither woman saying anything for a few minutes.

'How can you not hate me?' Sara asked at last, fiddling with the collar on Catherine's top

'It wasn't your fault, none of it was'

'I slept with my Mother!'

'Shhh… Shhh…' Catherine calmed her 'You didn't Sara, your Mother molested you, and you were young and confused, you can't blame yourself for what you did or what happened between you, she was your mother and you weren't to know it wasn't a normal thing to happen, your parents beat you, that wasn't your fault either, none of what happened when you were a child Sara was your fault' Catherine ran her hands through Sara's hair, trying to sooth the woman in her arms

'My Father died because of me…'

'No, your Father died because of your Mother's actions, she knew it was wrong, and when he tried to stop her, she decided to hurt him and blame you, but none of it Sara, none of it was your fault, and none of this makes you a bad person, and none of it changes who you are now or what an amazing person you are'

Sara didn't respond to this, but she did still her hands movements, her breathing evening out again.

'No one believed me… I didn't understand why my Mum lied… I think that was the hardest thing…' Sara admitted 'That she could do that, that we could do that, and then she'd blame Dad…'

'Would that really have made it easier for you Sara?' Catherine questioned 'Would having people know that not only your mum had done that, but that you were so confused by it that you responded? I think the reality of that, of people having that knowledge would have left you in a very dark place… it must have been bad enough for you having your Father dead and people having the wrong idea about what happened… either way, it didn't change the outcome, your Mother killed your Father…'

'It would have changed everything, she got off on Self-Defence and Battered Woman Syndrome, when in reality it was Self-Preservation and Cold Blooded Murder…she got a reduced sentence with sheltered-living, not life, and I ended up just as confused and vulnerable, starting a relationship with a much older man, thinking it was normal and right, and then having Sophie… things could have been so different if only people had believed me or my Mother hadn't lied…'

'You can't think like that Sara; you'll go insane if you do…'

Sara just snorted at that statement

'I'm serious Sara, we can't change something that happened over 20 years ago, all we can do is think about tomorrow…'

'You don't hate me?' Sara whispered

'No, far from it, I meant what I said last night Sara, I want to explore this with you, to try being in a relationship with, if you want… I understand if you don't, if you want to be alone, or be with Gil… but you have to know, this knowledge, this secret you've been carrying, isn't going to make me walk away from you' Catherine confessed, her thumb running over Sara's cheek.

Smiling weakly, Sara kissed Catherine before pulling away 'I feel so bad for doing this to Gil…'

'I know'

'I tried to ignore it… I thought perhaps seeing Gil again… that perhaps I was just latching on to the attention you've been giving to me… but it's a bit more than that… the attraction has always been there… you're gorgeous Cat, but it's so much more… I don't know how to define it…'

'Than don't' Catherine smiled, this time she bought her lips up to Sara's 'than don't' she repeated kissing her again

Reluctantly Sara pulled away 'I can't throw away a marriage for a fling…'

'I don't want a fling Sara; I want you… us… I told you, I wanted to cross that line, I'd never forgotten that night after Hank, I don't know what I feel for you exactly, where this might go, but I know I'm attracted to you, and I know having gotten closer to you these past few weeks…

'What about Lou?' Sara asked, her hand once again fiddling with Catherine's collar

'Sara… I'd never ask you to pick Gil over me, but I can tell you, with 100% honesty, I'd pick you over Lou, every time…'

Sara couldn't help the smile that broke over her face, but she had one more question to ask

'What about Sian? What about Lindsey?'

'Look at me…' Catherine put her hand under Sara's chin, lifting her head up a little Sara tried to advert her eyes 'Please…' at last Sara and Catherine's eyes met

'I don't know how Lindsey feels about Lou, but I do know she likes you, and she wants to see me happy… I know I can be happy with you, and Sian… we still don't know if she has family elsewhere, if you'll be allowed to take her in, but if you are, I will be with you every step of the way, I come with Lindsey, and I hope you come with Sian, so let me tell you one more time, I want this Sara, I really want this, I don't care what anyone thinks, what matters is that we are happy, that we consent, that we want this, and everything else will work out….'

'Ok' Sara smiled, her eyes searching Catherine's

'Ok?'

'Yeah… I want this… I want you'

'Good' Catherine giggled 'It would have been awkward if you'd have said no'

Sara couldn't help but giggle at this too, rolling over so Catherine was trapped beneath her, she began to kiss her, hands on either side of Catherine's head, pulling back slightly 'God, you're so beautiful…' leaning down she kissed Catherine again, tongue darting out of her mouth, parting the blonde's lip before her. Eagerly responding, Catherine ran her hands through Sara's hair, pulling her closer, slipping her leg up in-between Sara's, their breathing became heavy, Catherine tugging at Sara's shirt, Sara bucking against Catherine's leg.

When the phone started ringing, they both groaned in frustration, and Sara rolled off of Catherine trying to catch her breath, as Catherine reached for the phone

'It's Gil…'

'I don't want to talk to him' Sara spat out, her previous good mood deflating

'It's about Huw and Sian; he said he'd phone when Huw got here…'

'Oh…' Sara took the phone from her, sitting up she answered 'Hello'

'Sara…' came Gil's voice

'Is Huw here?' she asked, she couldn't deal with anything else right now

'Yeah… he got in twenty minutes ago, but it is nearly midnight… he can meet us at the group home or the station in the morning, whatever you think will be best…'

'Unfortunately, both… met us at the home, then for legal purposes I guess we'll have to go somewhere more official so the courts can't screw us later… '

'Ok…' Grissom tried to keep his voice professional for the moment, wanting to forget what he had seen in his bed a few hours before

'Can you meet us at 9?'

'Yeah, I'm sure that will be ok, he just needs to find a hotel…'

Sighing Sara closed her eyes 'Hold on…' she covered the mouth piece, and turned to Catherine 'Huw needs somewhere to stay, is there a room at the hotel he can take?'

'Sure…' Catherine sighed herself 'I'll call ahead; tell him to speak to the front desk when he gets there…'

'Thanks…' uncovering the mouthpiece she spoke to Gil again 'I just spoke to Catherine; he can have a room at The Eclipse… tell him to speak to the front desk when he gets there… Goodnight Gil' without giving him a chance to respond, she hung up the phone, just as Catherine was picking up her own to dial the number of the hotel she had a massive share in.

Xxx

Just before 9 two cars pulled up outside of the care home where Sian was staying, Catherine, Sara and Sofia were in one, whilst out of the other stepped Grissom, Brass and Huw. Together they stepped up to the door, not saying a word. Knocking, they waited for the door to be answered, and when Claire opened the door, she tried not to show her surprise and confusion at seeing 6 people stood there, only 3 of which she knew

'Miss Holland' Sofia began 'We need to speak to Sian, she's going to have to come down to the station with us…'

'Why?' Claire cut in, being unusually over protective of the children in her care, her attitude different to when she had meet them the other day

'There's some issues we need to clear up about her Mother's death, we can't do that here… please get her, or do I have to come in?' Sofia said, her voice stern, her hand inadvertently resting on her gun holster.

'Come in… she's not long woken up, she was up a few times in the night…'

Sofia turned, looking at the group, then fixing her gaze on Sara 'We won't be long… follow me please…' she turned her gaze to Huw, and together the two stepped into the house following Claire. Sara turned and walked down the path, back towards the car, needing a moment. Both Catherine and Grissom made to follow her, but Brass held his hand up 'Give her a minute…'

Xxx

Claire led Sofia and Huw into the bedroom that Sian was sharing with 4 other children, 3 of which had already gone down to breakfast or gone to school 'Holly, why don't we get some food, these two detectives need a moment with Sian…' she hoped that Holly would follow without too many questions.

When they were alone, Sofia closed the door, then crouched down on the floor 'Remember me?' she asked, glancing between the two, when Sian smiled she took that as a good sign

'I need to ask you some questions…' Sofia said slowly, waiting for Huw to translate for her

''Mae angen i mi ofyn rhai cwestiynau i chi'' Huw said for her

The smile that broke over Sian's face couldn't be described, nodding eagerly she said 'iawn'

'ok' Huw said for Sofia's sake

'We need to go to the Police station...' Sofia explained

'mae angen i ni fynd i orsaf yr heddlu...'

'Catherine and Sara are outside, with two colleagues of mine'

'Mae Catherine a Sara y tu allan gyda dau gydweithiwr i mi'

'Rwy'n hoffi Sara' Sian smiled, pulling a paper crane from under her pillow

'I like Sara' Huw spoke

'Will you come with us?' Sofia asked

'a ddewch gyda ni?' Huw translated again

'Yes' Sian replied, surprising them both with her direct, and English answer

'ti'n siarad saesneg? You speak English?'Huw asked, looking between the two, expecting another answer. Sian shook her head no, dropping her head to the floor

'dim ond ychydig, fel ie, na, help'

Huw's heart broke a little as he translated 'Only a little, like yes, no, help' Sofia's heart sunk a little too, standing up, she held her hand out to Sian 'Come on...' when Sian took her hand, Huw didn't feel the need to translate, following the two out of the room, he couldn't help but wonder just what had happened to the little girl in her 5 years that had left her alone in Las Vegas, and how it would affect not only Sara, but Grissom. He didn't know at this point that their marriage was as good as over.

Xxxxx

a/n

Sorry it's been so long since this has been update, I got very carried away with my other story (talking under the influence) and I've been busy with work…

I won't use too much more Welsh in this, as this is all from an online translator, so I'm sorry if this isn't as accurate as it could be…

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, more soon!

Emz.


	16. Chapter 16

As soon as the front door opened, four pairs of eyes turned and looked expectantly, Sofia walked out hand in hand with Sian, Huw close behind them, whilst Claire just sighed and forcefully shut the door behind them. As Sara's eyes met Sian's a lump formed in her throat that she tried to swallow away, turning slightly to try and compose herself, she jumped a little when she felt something collide into her body. Looking down she saw that Sian had wrapped her arms around her waist, a smile on her face, that Sara eagerly matched. Scooping down she pulled the girl up into her arms 'Hey sweetheart' she held her close, breathing in the scent of her granddaughter, before reluctantly putting her back down. She had to remember that the little girl still had no idea who she really was, and that it could be dangerous to get too attached to her

'Ready to go?' she asked, looking at Huw to translate for her, when Sian nodded, she opened the car door, helping her into the car seat and securing her seat belt. Sara hesitated for a moment or two, and then stalked towards the second car, wanting to put a little distance between them for now, even if that meant being in a car with Grissom.

Huw didn't exactly understand what he had just seen, but realised it would be better if he was to ride in the car with Sian, so he walked over, getting into the backseat. He hoped that he would be of some help in finding out exactly what had happened, and he hoped it wouldn't take too long.

Luckily it didn't take too long for the group to reassemble at the police station. Stepping out of the car, Sara practically bolted for the building, Grissom following slowly behind her, although it hadn't been a long journey, it had been very tense, with not one word spoken in the car.

'Just give her some time' Brass offered quietly

'I've already lost her Jim, I think I lost her a long time ago, just neither of us wanted to admit it' Grissom confessed, shrugging his shoulders. He'd already told Jim that he had caught the two of them in bed. 'We just need to get her through this, it doesn't matter what I want anymore' he sounded defeated, and walked away, wanting to get this over with.

Jim frowned, but followed after him, he'd spent last night trying to assure Grissom that Sara and Catherine's tryst had meant nothing, and was just a result of the high tensions and emotions Sara was going through, but deep down, even he knew that his reassurances were false. He'd seen it coming years ago, even more so since Sara's return, even if he and the two woman themselves had tried to deny it.

XXX

Sian sat on the floor in the middle of the room, playing with a couple of dolls, currently unaware of what was going on around her. She knew something important was about to happen, that it probably had something to do with her Mother dying, but right now, her little 5 year old self, was content to play. Jim and Brass were observing through the mirror, audio and video equipment set up to record the session, but ready to step in at a moment's notice if needed, such as Sara getting to distressed or emotionally involved. Catherine, Sofia and Huw slipped into the room, Catherine moving to sit on the floor, picking up a doll herself, and casually playing with it, waiting for Sian to notice her presence. Huw took a seat close by, whilst Sofia sat at the table, notebook in hand.

'Sara?' Sian questioned quietly at last, looking up at Catherine, not understanding why Sara had hugged her outside the home but had avoided her since.

Catherine thought for a moment, trying to decide what to say, but Huw beat her too it

'hi fydd hi mewn eiliad neu ddwy... she'll be here in a moment or two'

Sian smiled happily 'da, hi yw fy ffrind'

Huw smiled brightly, before translating for the room 'she said, good, she's my friend'

Sara had been watching from the door way, and now that she knew her presence was welcome, she slipped into the room.

'Hi' she took a seat on the floor, resting her back against the wall. Sian moved so she was sat next to her, giving Sara a doll of her own, which Sara took, letting it rest on her lap

'Sian... we need to talk to you about your Mum' Sofia spoke up, waiting for Huw to translate again

'Oh...' Sian placed her doll down, pulling out the papercrane, and began fiddling with it

Catherine observed the body langauge of Sian and Sara, wondering at how wise it was for them to be so close when there was still alot they didn't know about the little girls circumstances.

'When did you and your Mum come to America?' Sofia asked, again waiting for Huw

Sian shrugged, being so young she didn't really understand the days of the week still or how much time might have paused, frowning, she thought, and counted on her fingers '9 sleeps ago'

Sofia nodded in encouragement 'That's good, that's good. How did you come here?'

'In a plane'

'Were you alone?' Sofia asked, glancing up to Sara

'No, Daddy came too' Sian answered proudly, before her face fall. Sara visibly tensed at this, and placing her hand on Sians arm she asked

'Where is your Daddy now sweetheart?'Sara asked, trying to keep the panic out of her voice

'I don't know' she admitted. Her Father was always coming and going, so she never thought too much of it.

'Did he hurt your Mummy, did he hurt Sophie?' Sara asked, panic rising.

'Whose Sophie?' Sian asked in confusion

'Your Mummy...' Catherine spoke up, placing a comforting hand on Sara's leg.

'My Mummys name is Glenys, not Sophie'

Xxxx

Sorry it's been a while! I've either been over worked, or over tired, or both. Sleeping whenever I can these days, as growing a little human is tiring (about 9 weeks pregnant!) but rest assured, these stories are not abaonded, and will be finished. Sorry, this probably isn't the best chapter, but, I, once again, need sleep.

Hope all is well were you are, stay safe out there with this current global pandemic.

Emz.


	17. Chapter 17

It had been about two hours since Sian's revelation to the team, and Sara's heart was still pounding. She had no idea what the news meant, or why as soon as it was said Sofia had bolted from the room.

Sian had played a little more, not aware of the tension that had filled the room or the implications of her words, but soon she had grown quiet and had rested against Sara's side, quickly falling asleep.

'Sara?' Catherine whispered, observing them

'Yeah?'

'You love her, don't you, Sian?'

'I… I don't know her… I never knew Sophie. I didn't fight for her when I was supposed to, and now it's too late. I don't feel as if I deserve to love Sian. I don't feel like I should have any part in her life… but how could I not love her? She's… she's the only family I have, the only family I will ever have' Sara confessed, her hand running through the little girls hair, her eyes never once looking away.

Catherine smiled weakly, her own emotions rather mixed at Sara's words 'I'm glad you've got a second chance'

'Yeah… me too. It's only been a few days, but I'm scared… scared I won't be able to let go if she doesn't want me. If she wants to go back to her family… is it selfish of me to hope that I am all she has?'

'No sweetheart, it's not selfish, it's natural, it's love, it's your family… just… don't forget that we're your family too.'

Sara looked up at Catherine for the first time, her eyes scrunching slightly at the words and the look of loss on Catherine's face. 'I won't. I promise. This little girl is my blood, she has my heart without condition… you have my heart because I chose to give it to you' she smiled shyly, before averting her gaze back down to watch Sian sleep, and therefore missing the look of elation that spread over Catherine's face.

Xxx

A short while later, Sofia reappeared, some papers in her hands 'I found something…' she looked between Catherine and Sara, who was still holding a sleeping Sian in her arms.

'Ok' Catherine got up 'Sara?' she questioned

'It's ok, go ahead, I shouldn't be involved anyways…' she never once tore her gaze from the little girl.

Stepping out of the room quietly, Catherine followed Sofia in to a conference room where Brass, Grissom, Ecklie and Huw were waiting.

'What did you find?' she asked, taking a seat.

'Well, when Sian said her mother's name was Glenys… I remembered something… I'd been looking at the flight passenger manifestos for the time frame we were looking at. Glenys was one of the names I remember reading… I went back and looked again. 9 days ago a Glenys Matthews, and a Timothy Gorman boarded a flight from Bristol, UK to McCarran international… that's about a 13 hour flight. The couple travelled with a girl matching Sian's description, and passport records proof this. I was able to speak to the flight crew, but they don't remember too much about the flight in question… while, nothing pertaining to us, as there was an elderly man who suffered a non-fatal heart attack about 10 hours into the flight, so naturally they've forgotten everything else. Anyway, from there I was able to find out some more… a lot more'

'What did you find out?'

'Well… I found out that Sophie… Glenys was adopted as a baby, to a Rosemary and Jonathon Matthews. Due to the time difference, I haven't been able to speak to them yet, but I'm hoping you'll be able to help me with that Huw? I'm assuming as Sian knows Welsh, so did her mother, and the grandparents too. I've also learnt that Timothy flies a lot. 10 hours after landing in Vegas, he got on another flight alone, to Michigan. He stayed 4 days, then took a flight to Texas, was there 2 days, and is now currently in Utah. I've got the local PD there going to pick him up, and his picture posted at all airports, bus and train stations… It's been a rather busy couple of hours'

'Wow…' Catherine's jaw dropped a bit

'Any idea why he travels so much?' Brass asked, taking in the information

'No, not as of yet, still looking into it'

'Ok…' Grissom chimed in, naturally falling back into the role of investigator 'What do we tell Sara?'

'We don't. Not yet, let's speak to the Matthews and Timothy first' Catherine spoke up, not wanting to tear Sara's world apart just yet.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

Xxx

Whilst Utah PD were tracking down Timothy, Huw and Grissom were trying to get in touch with Sophie's adoptive parents. The 8 hour time difference had meant that when Sofia had found the information it had been nearly 9pm in the UK. If it had been a routine enquiry she would have had no trouble about making a phone call that late, but it wasn't routine. Nothing about the case was. Now it was nearly 1am in Vegas, and 9am in the UK, and so Huw had dialled the number they had found.

The phone rang, before going to voicemail; the standard greeting came across the line. Sighing he left a message asking if they could phone him back, but didn't go in to details about why he was phoning.

It was Sunday, and the Matthews family were at Church.

The questions would have to wait a little longer.

Xxx

Sara had reluctantly driven Sian back to the group home not long after the little girl had woken up, taking a little detour to get some food. Sara had picked a veggie burger and Pepsi, and Sian had chosen a veggie burger and milk, which has surprised her a little.

Huw had offered to come with them, to help translate, but Sara had declined the offer, she knew if there was a way of the little girl understanding her she would say too much too soon, and she didn't want to do that just yet. She was content just to be in her company for now. Content that Sian was showing her some affection, and had reached out to hold her hand when they were walking.

Since leaving her a few hours ago, Sara had driven around aimlessly before finding herself parked outside of a familiar building.

Xxx

Ecklie was sat in his office, trying to concentrate on the paperwork before him. As much as he loved running the crime lab, he still wasn't a fan of paperwork, and sometimes he even missed the field and the investigative side of the job. A light knock came at this door

'Come in' he called, and watched as Sofia stepped into the room

'Utah PD have found him, he's on his way, but it will be about 6 hours until he's here. I've checked with everyone, and there's no new information from the little evidence we do have, or Sara's background just yet. Nick's still working on trying to reach the people who were supposedly in charge of Sara's care back when this happened, and the company that were officially involved in getting Sophie out of the country were a front, but we still need to dig deeper. I want to bring Penny back in, see if she can add anything now she's had time to think…'

Ecklie nodded in approval. 'Good work Sofia. Let me know when you have more, but as it seems we have to wait a while for more information, I want you to go home and rest for the time being. Get Ray to speak to Penny again, and find a way of making sure Sara isn't anywhere near PD or CSI when Timothy is bought in. '

'Yes sir' Sofia agreed, stepping back out of the room, releasing a breath. She was beyond tired right now. She could only imagine how everyone else felt.

Pulling out her phone she made a quick phone call to Catherine, relaying the same information to her, before walking out of the building, heading home.

Xx

A/n, sorry it's been a while, again. Work, as always, has been busy, and I've been distracted with my 'small' story once again.

Review if possible, thank you, Emz.


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